I need a bit of advice

29 June, 2011 - 5:18am — Meldiseus

Hiiii every one been awhile. Some of you already know me, and to those of you who don't just call me mel. so... I need some advice.

I'm transexual and I've know that for awhile, but resently I've started to really wan't to open up to my mom about it. For some reason I can't remember why, I thought I could just keep it to myself, get the clothes, hormones, the stuff that I need all by my self, and I probably could with time, but I don't want to do it by myself, I want her to know about me and to help me get things done the right way.

Since desiding that I was going to tell her about how I feel, the words have been on the tip of my tounge when ever it seems like we have a moment alone, but how would I tell her? "hey mom what if I had been born a girl"

No matter which angle I aproch it from I can't think of a single good way to tell her. Some times I feel like just walking up to her, with best smile I can muster and say "mom I'm..." well I don't know what I'd say but nomatter what words I use I can't imagine how she would react.

mabey I should just wright her a letter and slip it into her purse before she leaves the house that way she'ld have the whole day to absorb the information but then I wouldn't be there to, answer questions she might have, or just be there for her.

I don't know how I should tell her, what do you think? any advise?

But then on to other news.

Today I went back to CTC (school) to meet some of the new juniors and say hello to my friends now that were all seniors. it was really nice to meet up with all my old friends since none of us gave out any way to stay in touch over the summer,but other than having a greaat time, I met up with an old friend of mine who's switching over to Digital Design (we won't be in the same class though since he'll be taking the junior class) and the best part is that at the start of the school year were going to get together, pool our talents and try creating our very own comic or manga I don't know which or what it's going to be about yet but whatever it is I bet it's going to be great.

Bye (*^_^*) its been great talking to you all and I'll try to get on more often (hopefully with good news)

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Comments

29 June, 2011 - 5:48am — loreonpravus

As cheesy and unhelpful as

As cheesy and unhelpful as this sounds, do what you feel feels right. Okay. That was unhelpful. Take two. What do you think she'd react the best to? Have you looked up what other people have done and gotten ideas from them? Nevertheless, coming out and telling someone something that personal is so different from person to person. Also, you might plan it out one way and have it go a completely different way, so then you just deal with it... be ready for anything. Be confident and resilient, hope for the best, expect the worst, so just in case everything does go downhill you're prepared.

Eventually, you'll have your own unique, one-of-a-kind story to tell.

30 June, 2011 - 12:33am — Meldiseus

Ok

I like your sugestion... both of them (=

I always try to be myself, and i've tried looking for other coming out stories but they kinda blend in with the gay/lesbian/F2M coming out stories and i'm to lazy to sift through them all.

your definatly right about telling someone something that personal being so different, but even if it's hard I've made up my mind to get it over with sooner-rather than later.

29 June, 2011 - 7:13am — ferrets

well

first, do you think she would flip out about that sort of thing? if not, its really only matter of the right time :)

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

30 June, 2011 - 12:35am — Meldiseus

I don't know how she would

I don't know how she would react, but I think she's too level headed to flip out, that sounds more like something my dad would do.

29 June, 2011 - 10:30am — elph

Do you have a professional on your side?

When speaking to your mom, she will definitely have many questions!

Hopefully you have consulted with a counselor or doctor who has experience with reassignment issues. He/she should be willing to meet with your mom and ease you over the more difficult parts.

Wishing you the best.

But... it's very important that you have professional support on your side!

30 June, 2011 - 12:38am — Meldiseus

Nope, none, nada, I haven't

Nope, none, nada, I haven't contacted any perfesionals as of yet, but if I looked I bet I could find some one to talk to her about the whole process.

30 June, 2011 - 12:05pm — elph

You really should...

find someone with whom you can openly discuss what you want to happen.

Do you know personally any other MtF near your age with whom you could talk face-to-face?

I've no doubt that your current desire to make all the necessary adjustments is truly intense.

But you definitely need someone who will lend professional support...

If you feel the desire to proceed with hormones totally on your own, this would be extremely ill-advised!

If you're still just at the "desire" stage... you should find some way to muster the courage to speak with your mom: If she's understanding, she will likely insist that a psychologist speak with you...

29 June, 2011 - 7:42pm — radiosilence95

I have yet to come out to

I have yet to come out to loved ones, so maybe I have no business giving you advice, but...I would see what her attitude is towards transgender people. Just bring it up casually in a conversation, and see what her view is, see if her attitude is good or bad. By doing this, you'll know what she thinks of transgendered people without coming out to her.

Once you know her feelings toward trans people, you can determine when and how to come out. If she reacts to you bringing up trans people in a conversation in a positive or indifferent way, coming out to her is only a matter of good timing and maybe rehearsing what you're going to say and how you're going to answer any possible questions. Maybe practice in a mirror, and write down any questions you think she might ask and think of how you'd answer them.

But maybe that's not the best thing for you. Maybe practicing and rehearsing and thinking of how to answer questions only makes you more nervous. It may just be better to spit it out and prepare for the worst and hope for the best. It could be that the longer you think about it, the more hesitant you become. It just depends on you, really.

I wish you the best of luck :D

30 June, 2011 - 12:26am — Meldiseus

Thank you

Actualy I have been thinking really hard about how to casually find out how she feels about Transexuals and I think I have an idea of how, and I never would have thought of practicing in front of a mirror. ^_^ it seems so obvious now.

Thanks a lot for the advise and good luck with coming out.(*^_^*)