So my dissociations stopped for a while but they've started up again. Usually they're okay because they'll happen when I'm sitting in my house doing homework or something. Or sometimes I partially zone out when I'm in a conversation or reading, but something scary happened the other day as a result of my dissociation.
It was actually pretty fucking frightening because now that I think about it, I'm pretty damn lucky I got through it.
So I was walking and talking on my phone, which is fine because I do that ALL the time. Well, not *all* the time, but I do it quite a bit. So no problem there. But I was talking to my mom and I got to a street corner, didn't remember anything about traffic lights or walk signals (like, its not like I walked knowing it said dont walk...I didnt even think to check, forgetting about their existence) and kept walking. It was fuzzy in my mind and I don't know how it happened. But then I sorta checked back into reality, and found myself
in the middle
of the street.
I'm not even kidding.
And then it took me about 2 or 3 seconds before it registered in my mind what was going on. I felt weird...like in a movie, but in a fuzzy way, I guess. And then in my head I thought "OH SHIT!" And decided to run back to the street corner.
I don't know what happened, but it was scary shit. So I guess I'm glad to have gotten through that.
It was a busy street, too.