I got two hours of sleep last night (about), so pardon if this is disjointed and stupid sounding.
I think my room has a ghost.
Not really HAUNTED, I haven't seen apparitions or heard voices or had things thrown, but it feels weird in there. I've been hearing musical, rhythmic tapping noises on the metal part of my bed every night. Sometimes my bed shakes. I've smelt man's cologne when I play my viola.
It's like a musical ghostie. But I'm not afraid of the ghost, if he taps during the day, I'll usually wait till he's done and tap something back. The thing that bothers me is how the room FEELS.
The air is so heavy in there, it feels thick and enveloping. Tonight I'm sleeping on the couch. Hell, I don't even want to go in there until my body feels good again. I wasn't scared at all past 12 last night, yet my body refused to sleep until 3 AM. Everytime I got close to falling asleep, my heart would spasm like I got startled. For no reason. I'm not sure if I feel like something's watching me, or if it's just like
I don't know why- the ghost was tapping last night and I asked it to stop so I could sleep. And it did. It stopped for the rest of the night.
I don't know what to do.
Anyways, a few of my major fears here:
Mirrors. I'm deathly afraid of mirrors in the dark. I'm scared I'll look into them and see things I'm not supposed to.
Same, sort of for windows at night. I always feel like something is standing outside my window at night.
The Dark. I'm afraid that it conceals things sitting and waiting there. I almost always leave my TV on or my light when I get scared because of this.
Jellyfish... My god, what the fuck are these things. They're like faceless hell spawn. AND SOME ARE IMMORTAL LKSLRTSKHLKH. I don't like the idea of a clear, water-coloured beast that if you bump into, it stings you all over.
OH YEAH AND IT LIVES IN FUCKING WATER HURRR so it ninja sneaks up on you! A certain species, the Box Jellyfish, kills you BY CAUSING YOUR NERVES TO ALL HURT. YOU DIE OF TOO MUCH PAIN.
BEST THING EVER RIGHT
anyways I'm really emotionally drained and Boyfriend is being an asshole today. So...
I really just want to drift off away from everone and not be scared of everything anymore.
I'm not suicidal
but I just want to die
a nice, long, sleep and then when I wake up all my troubles are gone and I don't have to pick myself up every day.
(I am a walking husk,
dead, catatonic, stiff)
Waiting to go to bed
having a nervous breakdown
I feel like I'm gonna cry and I'm shaking