Fuck I'm hooked. I'm such a little drug hooker. Like seriously I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. It's fuckin amazing. I think I like this stuff. Like, a lot. Maybe a little too much... idk either way we all die eventually might as well make it come quicker. Bad philosophy? Yes. Should I get clean? Maybe. I'm having too much fun right now. Even though my parents told me I was ass ugly and my best friends are both being shipped away because of their use, everything's SO fucking great. Even though I'm hooked on this shit and I wanna kill myself half the time, I'm SO happy. SO happy I could throw myself off fucking Trump Park Avenue. Goddamn I'm a mess, and I apologize for being so up and down on all of these journals. I'm a wreck, a downright wreck. Yet, I'm still put together... I don't know anymore. Either way, L'chaim and don't do drugs, all those things they told you in school were true. I didn't fucking listen, look at me. I'm up and down, always on the verge of suicide, alone, self loathing. And I can't afford any sort of therapist or counselor to help me, no rehab either. I'm on my own, I need to cut back, like a lot. Ugggggh shit, shit shit shit. Fuck the world, except Oasis y'all all pretty cooh. Well Ima go do something with myself, I don't know what yet.. but something. And if it's not too much to ask, could y'all pray for me? It sounds vain, but I just need some help and it would be very much appreciated. So any-who, Goodnight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EdkUyZMZfo this is how I cope