See, because the people on the internet are fake.
Not fake in the sort of "I pretend to be happy so you don't know I'm upset" fake, but the complete opposite.
The "Everyone should give a crap about me and have the same opinion as me and give me exactly what I want to hear elsewise I will throw a tantrum" sort of thing. The "Oh I totally act normal in real life but I just HIDE MY UTTER DEPRESSION AND DEPTH" sort of thing.
See, I read this article today that pretty much envisions how I feel about most people.
We overthink ourselves. We don't apply our personal feelings to someone else. We think sex = sluts. We think scary dressed people are mean or depressed. We believe that everyone else is a typical person whom we can sum up, and yet we think we're special, or at least, different.
See, we see people in bad spots and we're like, "Oh, that's not me. That couldn't be me. I'm not a drug addict cause I'm smart", or "Wow, that person has a headache and won't shut up about it, but it CAN'T hurt as much as mine, no way, or they'd act way more distressed".
But that's the thing.
We're all the same people- transparently stuck in our own selves. But we want more than that. We want people to love the same boring journals everyone else writes but we don't comment on. We tweet about going to some coffee shop even though we don't give a damn about anyone else.
We have so much self-importance but no self-drive to do anything about it.
I mean, but I'm not assuming this.
Because I was there.
I try to avoid being like that anymore, all entitled and self-important. I mostly try to keep with writing essays like this, because it just kinda helps clean out my brain of thoughts.
But the thing is... The reason everyone who's oh-so-sad acts happy is because we know it's not socially acceptable to whine and mope and act crazy in real life.
And I don't see why it should be acceptable here, either.
I mean, I know A LOT about depression, because of my whole phase where I was like LOL I CUT MYSELF, I WANNA DIE
and I mean
yeah, my pain was real- But I caused most of it. I just kept telling myself how bad everything was and how nothing was going right with anyone around me.
So I took the best way out nobody thinks about- I just stopped focusing on that.
I focused on keeping myself happy.
And everything else fell into my lap. Love, happiness, good grades.
I found my niche- Art, cooking, playing music, video games... The things that made me feel happy all over, and I stuck with them.
That's my therapy. That's my counselor. But when I hit rock bottom, and I do for real need help or I'll explode, I ask you guys for help.
And that's why I love you all, cause even in the midst of all your shit, whether it be self-imposed or not (cause all of the pain IS real, I don't deny that), you do take time to take care of me.
So thanks. I guess.
but that won't stop me from having a less kissass and more honest attitude. I'm like this in real life- At least, if people came up to me and were like BAWW PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS every single day. When you hear the same story eighty times, I mean, yeah. I'm not going to lie to anyone.
I don't ever say things to maliciously hurt anyone. I say things because they're honest and they're MEANT to help, if you don't have an internet-mind about it.
I'm not trying to attack anyone- What you do online is your business. Same for me. Which gives me the right to write about people and criticize what I see all around the internet.
In the end, we all die and nobody will remember us unless we do something worthwhile- Which can't be done unless you have a self-drive to do something great. So what does life matter unless you give it meaning?