doesn't it show people get old when they're alone?

4 May, 2011 - 12:48am — thoughtgoddess

Sometimes I feel that once one has taken on the role of the leader, of the advocate, the organizer, the vice-president of a fucking non-profit, ffs, one is no longer allowed to have identity-related crises. I am meant to have my own shit together so that I can help those who do not. I am 21. I am too old for the gender-related frustration to come back, I thought I'd gotten over that in high school. but I think things like fucking academia and fucking bandom have brought it all back to the front. Gender is a social construct and just because i like wearing dresses or I like wearing jeans and guys' hoodies does not mean I feel the need to identify with these sets of binary expectations and scripts that our society has set up. Sometimes i feel more like a guy. Sometimes i feel like a girl. This is always a pretty superficial thing, it does not change how I act or talk or identify, and I realize the inherent hipocracy in that last sentence, believe me. I'm just not entirely sure how to put it in to words. But I am sick of my roommate being shocked when I wear lipstick, or my family (excluding my mother) making a joke out of it if they happen to realize that something I'm wearing was made for a male body according to the design and marketing organizations that put it out.
I am really just sick of the gender binary, and apparently the internet is the only place I can bitch about it. Did I mention how I am too old for this shit?
Ok, disappearing again.

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Comments

4 May, 2011 - 1:04am — whateversexual_llama

the gender binary is

the gender binary is bullshit. if getting old means submitting to it, i refuse to get old.

i don't think the crisises will ever end. we as humans are always changing, and our identity doesn't need to be static. rock the dysphoria! confuse people! it's folks in continual crisis who have the biggest role in taking down the binary.

or at least that's what i tell myself every morning.

4 May, 2011 - 3:15am — jeff

Getting old...

doesn't mean submitting to it. It means not caring about it.

The only people who care about gender stuff are the vast minority of people who care about gender stuff. It is a dialogue where only one side cares and everyone else has a million other things to think about.

Which is, of course, why it is unlikely to change. Only one side is even having the debate ;-)

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

4 May, 2011 - 4:01am — whateversexual_llama

apathy i'm fine with. when

apathy i'm fine with.
when the majority of the world behaves apathetically towards the mtf in the ladies' restroom, the gender variant person on the street, transfolks in general, and the genderqueer community, I will shut up.

But right now, we are met with hostility for dressing, behaving, and being the way we are.

Wait, scratch that. Apathy is just as bad- apathy is the reason gender stereotypes are normalized across our society. Apathy is the reason people assume that there is no such thing as a person who doesn't subscribe to the gender they were assigned at birth.

Not to mention the fact that homophobia stems from a base mistrust of people behaving outside of gender roles. Gender issues are queer issues.

I'm not saying everyone needs to think about it all the time. But on a basic level, life is going to suck for a lot of people until more people acknowledge that gender must be consented to, not assumed.

4 May, 2011 - 7:36am — jeff

That's all fine...

... but I only hear the argument about it. How is that discussion going to happen at a societal level for something that affects such a small number of people?

Until that happens, nothing changes. Gay took 45 years to get where it is now, and there's way more gay people than transfolk. And that's boring regular gay people being accepted, not the fringe element.

So, what's the plan? I get the debate, but the debate is only being argued on one side, usually with itself. Save for the occasional media blast, etc.

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

4 May, 2011 - 7:33am — jeff

On the original post, though...

As far as having your shit together, that's completely nonsense.

I was a music major for a bit, and as a music major you need to learn a crazy number of musical instruments. So, one day, I had to give a flute lesson. I didn't play flute. So, I had 15 minutes to learn enough flute to teach an elementary school girl who recently started flute a lesson.

So, you don't have to know everything, just slightly more.

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain