I sing and play guitar myself, I'm well aware that he can't very well. But his lyrics are entertaining. I liked his message and that's more than I can say for Gaga's original. I don't expect everyone to feel the same way and I don't really care.

...You're missing the point entirely actually.

A) The "destination" of my transition isn't "to be male". It's to be me whoever that is. Which, is awfully similar to the goal of everyone else my age actually. I am a person. You can't sum me up with "male" any more than you can sum me up with "vegan" or "artist" or "person-with-a-vagina".

B) My interest in gender neutral pronouns has nothing to do with my body or my history. I've socially transitioned to male pretty well, thanks. Nearly everyone in my life thinks of me as male (not as trans male, as male) and many of my friends don't know that I'm trans at all. You're perceiving my interest in gender neutrality as a "step backwards" from there. As if every trans man in the world has the same goal in mind. Which is ignorant. Ask two cis people how they feel about their gender and you'll likely get two different answers. Trans people are no different. Binary identified or non. I still ID as male and I'm glad for the progress I've made, but this exploration into gender neutral stuff is a step forward for me, not a step back.

C) Being read and thought of as a trans man? Not my goal. Not even close. (not that there's anything wrong with that I might add. Some trans or transitioned people ID strongly as trans and others don't ID with it at all.) I don't like being called "FTM" because I feel that's an inaccurate description of my experience. I am a man with some genderfluid tendencies and that's how I want to be thought of. I really don't care what people think I have in my pants or genes. If they think I'm a trans man, whatever, if they think I'm just a weird guy that likes bright clothing and flowers, whatever, if they can't tell what gender I am, whatever.

D) Gender isn't just a point on a spectrum.

E) You seem to have it in your head that cis > trans. Like all binary-identified trans folk want to blend in as cis because it's "better" so we are all going to get as close as we can. There are trans men that ID as male male male and want to be read and perceived as male male male (masculine or not) and they want to have absolute control over who knows about their history, and they basically, fit your description of a trans man and eventually become invisible. I know people like that, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's their choice and if that's what's best for them then good for them.

But that's not the path of every trans person.

F) Your implication that one can't both openly ID as trans and be "just a guy" borders on offensive. I understand that, most of society puts trans men into a different category than "just men" but that's a problem. I can be "just a man (who happens to be open about having transitioned)" if I damn well please. Is everyone going to respect that? Probably not. Are they worth my time? Probably not. Being "just male" doesn't center around being perceived as a cis male. And if it does, it shouldn't.

jeff, i'm curious about what years you lived in San Fran.
Queer theory and the trans experience has changed so much just within the PAST fifteen years that I'm not surprised that our ways of viewing transsexuality confuse you.

I've read some interesting narratives from butch women/people in the Bay Area about 15 years ago that talk about the pressure to transition. there have been times that it was unacceptable within the trans/women's studies/queer studies bubble, as you call it, to be something other than masculine male or feminine female. If you were butch, that meant you wanted to be a guy.

As a (sometimes) butch-identified genderqueer person, I imagine that 15 years ago I would have ID'd as trans, I would have told everyone I'd "always been a boy," I would've tried my hardest to live stealth.

But that's not the only option anymore.
Nowadays, spaces outside of the binary are becoming far more acceptable. Maybe not outside of the circles that you like to accuse of being "the only places" that genderqueer is acceptable. But where does anything start?

Also, your whole "gender doesn't matter outside of the circles where people talk about it" shtick is getting old. Science didn't matter to anybody but scientists until the Enlightenment, but they kept on doing science! If we throw up our hands and say "welp, nobody cares" and kept queer theory to ourselves, nobody would care.

If people outside of the queer community hear us using gendernetural pronouns, they'll ASK WHAT WE JUST SAID. and then we can EXPLAIN it. And then they might begin to UNDERSTAND. pretty basic principal.