I am sick of repression, especially where sexuality is concerned.

I first went through a phase where I associated my desire for love with desire for sex, and as of such, used sex to attempt to get what I wanted, which was love. My sexuality was then forced, because without it I had nothing.

Then I went through a phase where the simple idea of physical intimacy made me uneasy, nauseous even. People approaching me in that manner disgusted me. I wanted to hide from them, to protect myself. Repression of the body to protect the soul.

And now I am comfortable with sex, seeing as I am with someone I love (in fact, sex without love is impossible for me). And as I am attracted to him physically, I want to have sex. Specifically, rather sado-masochistic sex.

However... he is demisexual, I suppose you could say, and isn't all that interested.

Which wouldn't be a bad thing, except I think I really do need that physicality to feel loved. Which makes me feel pathetic, really, because it's so superficial and unimportant in the long run.

So I repress, again and again.

SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED TEEN ALERT, yo!