The good news is, my blood test and ultrasound came out normal, but now she wants to put me on progesterone for 10 days to see if it stops the bleeding. XP I'm not terribly enthusiastic about this. I mean, it's just 10 days... But... Gah. I don't like it. I don't want to screw with my hormones, they're where they're supposed to be.
And I have to see a real gyno because they couldn't tell anything from the pap smear. (But at least my doctor is sending me to someone with experience with trans people)
It's great. I get to be poked some more. I'm not even that dysphoric about it anymore because there's this whole association of physical pain that goes on now. (This is really TMI but T dries that area out. X_X)
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In other news, I e-mailed Blackbelt. You know, that kid I liked forever ago and argued with sort of over the summer? We hadn't talked in forever so I e-mailed him about random stuff just because I didn't want to leave things the way they were.
Anyway, he basically apologized for saying out-of-line shit and I accept that apology... But, we get into disagreements a lot, I'm the speak-my-mind-calmly type (as many of you are aware) and he's the flip-out-over-every-little-thing type. Now he's saying we just should stick to light subjects.
I kind of agree, but only because he's a hot-head. He just flies off the handle waywayway too easily, I dunno... He frustrates me because he's just so bad at dealing with shit. And here I am, dealing with all of the shit I'm dealing with and I know I sound really whiny here but I've been in a really good mood the last few days. I know he'd be a mess dealing with half of the stuff I deal with and it's always been that way... So, I think I might know a thing or two about dealing with things, but he hates when I try to help him with it... It doesn't matter how calmly or respectfully or tactfully I approach it, even if I'm just saying "well this is what I do in this situation" he always reacts like I'm personally attacking him and flips out.
Which is fine, whatever. It's how he deals with things and not my responsibility... However, I'm not really sure what the point of maintaining an online relationship (Friendship guys, I'm not stupid enough to want romance with this kid anymore.) is if I can't talk to him about anything besides light topics. Like, there are people I hardly know that I can be more open with.
I don't dislike him, I just... Don't see the point. But I don't know how to say "maybe we should just go our separate ways" without sounding like an ass... Which, to be fair, he's been kind of an ass to me, but that was more out of some incredible obliviousness than malicious intent.
Comments
What's progesterone? I feel
What's progesterone? I feel like I've heard of it before, but I can't remember since I last had health class last year and I forgot things after the final XD.
Its great that you'll be going to a gyno that at least knows how to deal with trans people. That must be a relief, no?
My suggestion for Blackbelt is write out a pros/cons list (well, two). One of keeping the friendship, and then one of not keeping the friendship. Do the pros and cons of each list and then look back over it and decide which wins over. It sounds to me, though, how you describe him, that there's not the same bond that maybe there once was. And if he's only going to bring you down or just get really angry, maybe its not worth saving the relationship.
You're not an ass.You're FANTASTIC. Okay, I was going to say a word that had ass in the letters and say 'even though you can spell ass in this highly positive energized word, you're still not an ass ' XP.
:) oh, and HIIIIIIII
Progesterone is a female
Progesterone is a female hormone. It's like estrogen, basically. Both are responsible for periods and pubic hair growth and all that feminine stuff. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. We just learned about this in Biology.
Yup, you're right.
Yup, you're right. Apparently progesterone levels get higher towards the end of a cycle which is why she's giving it to me.
But it's still a female hormone and I'm not too enthusiastic about having to take it. XP
Yeah, I would've insisted on
Yeah, I would've insisted on it though, haha. I know someone who is trans and sees a gyno so if my doctor didn't know where to send me I would have suggested him.
I don't think he's gonna bring me down or get really angry unless I provoke him, but he's really incredibly... Provoke-able. And I dunno, maintaining a relationship long-distance is a fair amount of work to not be getting anything out of it, and I just don't see the point if we can't talk about anything besides like, weather and school and food.
And thanks. I disagree, but thanks. :)