My uterus still hates me, but less, relatively. :P

I was really moody at the gyno appointment yesterday... Which made things worse because she could tell and she kept apologizing (medical professionals keep doing that with me. It's weird. It's something about being a dude that needs his vagina checked that makes people go "I'm sorry I'm sorry I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable I'm sorry". But at least they're respectful so I'm not complaining.) and I was like.. Gah. That just made it kinda worse. |D;

(I'm feeling better now though. :] )

It looks like they're gonna put me on some weird whatever to see if it stops the bleeding. I trust the gyno more than my doctor with this because she's a specialist but I'm still really reluctant about taking medicine after that whole my-stomach-trying-to-eat-itself thing. Haha.

My gyno is gonna talk to my primary care and talk about whatever and get back to me and probably put me on some weird drug that I don't want and hope it does something besides make me feel like I'm dying this time.

I just think that set of organs is just super-sensitive to everything ever... And ridiculous. Like, this is how my uterus and ovaries work:
Period -> LOTS of blood and cramps
Hormonal changes -> cramps
Sexual stimulation -> pain and cramps and pain
No fucking reason at all -> cramps and blood

BASICALLY.

Soyeah. I -really- want a hysterectomy now. Like. Rightnow. I'm actually kind of frustrated that I have to wait, probably until winter. I wasn't really dysphoric about those parts, and I don't know if I am now or if I'm just really frustrated with them. Haha.

...I keep trying to be more upbeat in my journal, and it keeps not working very well... This is upbeat for me, I mean, I'm laughing to myself about it. Just uh. read this in your heads with an upbeat tone okay? That's how I'm writing it so yeah. XD;;

Also, I have band-aids on my fingers because I have this nasty habit of bashing my fingers against the guitar strings and bruising them. So the band-aids serve as a cushion... But they also make the pick more difficult to hold which leads to me bashing my fingers on the strings even more. There's just no winning. XD I'm pretty amused by this, I'm considering scoring a pick and seeing if that helps, but with my luck it'd probably just break.