I never thought I would be bisexual. But thinking back I think it’s reasonable. I grew up with two brothers. My mom was never really around because she was always working so it was pretty much just my bros, my dad, and me. I always did boy stuff. I was a tom-boy growing up but my best friend was too. I never liked nail-polish or dresses. I played baseball with my brother but I was a good dancer. I started dancing when I was 2 1/2 years old. I think the only reason I danced was to learn the routine for our recital so I could see all the other girls in their costumes. Sometimes they were short and tight or baggy but I liked them anyways. I admired the older girls a lot more. A lot of them were pretty and they were fit with muscles and everything. But I started noticing it more when I got to middle school.
I joined the drill team because I’ve always wanted to follow in my mom’s footsteps. Changing in the locker room was always an issue. I tried sneaking peeks at the other girls but I would hide it by pretending to start a conversation. No one ever suspected anything. And whenever girls or guys made rude comments about sexuality, I never laughed or said anything because I was the one who was hurting. I remember once when a remark was made at me that I was a “lesbo” that I broke down crying. I just ran away because that’s all I felt I could do. I liked hanging out with a lot of my friends but looking back, I had more guy friends than girls.
I never wanted to admit to myself that I was bi because in the back of my mind I thought it couldn’t be possible. I guess I starting telling myself I was when I met the love of my life. She was like an angel sent from heaven to be with me. I always had butterflies when I saw her or talked to her. Just getting a text from her can make my day. I became so close to her after a period of 6 months. We became so close we were practically sisters. I loved her like one at first but after a while it wasn’t sister love…it was relationship love. I couldn’t take it much longer so I told her the truth. Like a miracle, it turned out that she was bi too and she liked me a lot too. I was just so happy. We flirted the rest of that night and then the next morning we got together. We dated two months. I wish it went longer because I really fell in love with her. I never loved anyone in my life like I did her. The last week of our relationship we lost contact and stopped talking every day. I got mad at her one day because she wouldn’t talk to me so the next day she dumped me. I cried for so long I thought I would never get over it. Actually I still haven’t.
Two weeks before our break-up I told my mom that I was bi and that I had a girlfriend. She accepted it well and she actually said she’d like to meet her someday. I loved the idea of it. The only problem…Destiny (my girlfriend) was 18 years old and didn’t even live here in Cali with me. The day I told my mom that I was bi, was the day that Destiny turned 18. I just wish she stayed with me. After all the promises she made me and all the good times and memories we had together, I really thought she was the one. I really miss her. So Destiny if you’re out there reading this please give me another chance. I love you so much and I care about you so much. I made mistakes but I’m only human.
Ever since our breakup I haven’t really talked to her or tried to. I just couldn’t. After everything we went through together, I couldn’t talk to her without spilling out my feelings. I haven’t even thought of getting another girlfriend but I’m looking into it. There are some girls I like at my school and on my softball team, and I think they were sent down from heaven for me to fall in love with…
What should I do? I honestly don’t want to get heartbroken again. Please give me tips and since Im kind of new to this, can yall help me out. I don’t know anybody who is bi or gay that I can look up to. I really need someone to lean on when I need help. Thx
*hugz and hearts*