My dad and I were just talking, and he made a very true statement. At this point in my high school career, I'm coasting until the end.

But there's a problem with that. I don't like to coast! I don't like just waiting for things to happen. It's not like I expect things to happen instantly, or for things to be given to me. But I like working towards something, and I'm not and it's driving me insane! I wanna be driving towards my destination, not just dawdling towards it!

But I don't have ANYTHING to work on! Well... No assets to work on it... The musical's done. There's not another show. I don't get lessons anymore, so I'm not building my repetiore, and I'm not going to ask my father to start me back up again, because we're hard on cash. I'm not a favorite in the choir, so I'm not going to get special attention, even if I beg.

Hell, I don't even know how to read sheet music for real!

I wish I knew people who were singers, or in the performing arts. But no one I know has an interest, besides my choir, and I'm not good enough friends with them to beg them to help me.

I really wanna expand, and star working on pop music, or something (I'd love to sing a Beatles song...) because I only ever sing show tunes, but I don't have a teacher to turn to, and I have too bad of pitch problems to teach myself.

And that's the other thing! I wanna join the a capella group in my college when I get there, but I have to audition for it, and I know I have pitch problems, and I dunno how to fix it, and I have no one to ask... It's already pulling teeth to get my choir director to teach me to cut songs for auditions....

I feel like there's something I should be doing, but I dunno how to get that thing... And I feel like crap ranting about it because most of the times when people complain, it's because they just don't wanna work on fixing it... But I really don't know how to move ahead...

So I'm coasting... And I hate it.... Grrr...