I had a doctor's appointment today. Bleh. I strongly dislike doctors. But to be fair, this one's not so bad. She's concerned about several things. First, there's my weight. A few months ago I weighed 130 pounds. Now I'm 102 pounds. Second, there's my eating habits. I never eat breakfast, I only eat a candy bar for lunch, and I refuse to eat fruits and vegetables. This leads to me having virtually no energy throughout the day. My doctor wants to call my therapist and ask what's going on, which is none of her business. She doesn't need to know my personal life. but I'm pretty sure my beloved therapist wouldn't tell the nosy doctor lady anything specific. Doesn't that violate the whole confidentiality thing?

Anyway, I've never been more tired than I was today. I could barely focus on anything. My grades are slipping, which is horrible, because I'm usually a straight A student. Amber won't even look me in the eyes. How can she suddenly turn so cold? My friends all urge me to confront her, but I'm so scared. I can't afford to have another breakdown like I did a couple weeks ago. What if she says something scathing and hurtful? I couldn't take it. Bleh again.

Despite everything that's been going on, there is indeed some good news. My sixteenth birthday is April 9th, and I passed out the invitations for the party today. Woo! It's gonna be awesome! We rented a party room and hired a DJ. A couple of my closest friends are gonna come home with me after the party and hang out all night. I wish Amber could come....No, I can't let her ruin this for me. My birthday party will kick ass whether she's there or not! *Looks around uncertainly*

I'm going job hunting tonight with my mom. I desperately want a job the second I turn 16. I need the money and I need something productive to occupy my time. My first choice would be Waldenbooks, a small bookstore in the local mall. I love books, so being around them all day would be quite satisfying. If they're not hiring, I'm thinking the library. Or Petco. I love animals. I'll let you know how the job hunting goes.

I've been working on my poetry lately. I'm not sure how good they are, and I need someone's opinion. Usually I give my poems to Amber for an opinion, but...you know. So I think I'll post some in my next entry and I'll let you guys see how you like them.