So anyway today was a real amazing day. The friend who gave me a shy peck on the cheek has admitted he has had a crush on me! :) So anyway we just found each other a bit after classes were over and we hung out. We talked and exchanged numbers and got to know more about each other. OMG! my first kiss, amazing...
But now there arises a great problem to my "I don't care who sees attitude". I now realize through my endorphin storm that "shit is getting real". I fear for his and my well being. I know we'll face persecution for being openly affectionate, but maybe I could stop this before it gets out of hand.
What I most fear right now is "getting jumped" and being beaten, possibly to death. This makes me glad that him and I live so far from school. So we're safe when we're at our homes. I know that I'll be able to slide past the friction such as verbal abuse and taunts and the like. I just hope no one resorts to physical harm. This truly scares me.
So what I figure is that we can try to keep it on the "down low" and try to shove the openly gay relationship in the closet. I hope he'll be okay with it (probably will be okay with it I think). I just don't want to discourage him, or make him feel as if he's causing this problem. I have a big support network of friends and people (includes teachers) so that's something valuable.
Now that I think about it more, I'm glad I'm not much of a socialite or attention grabber (in my unplugged life). So I'm not much of an easy target alone, plus I major in survival tactics also I know the school well, so hiding places are covered. But I worry for him, I don't know his plans, I don't know what he'll do when faced with such scenarios.
But I do know also that he does take care of himself. Maybe I'm worrying to much, I always tend to worry. He'll be in my prayers more often now, I know the Lord will deliver him from evil. I'll be hoping and praying for the best if we decide to have the relationship more open.
Just letting you people know are going to start dating! So we're not rushing too many things.