(Oh, how I love you, Instant Title Generator.)

"Let's go eat lunch and then get that wire in my car looked at" DOES NOT MEAN "Why yes, Granny, I would LOVE to spend 4 hours driving you all over the universe for every single thing you can think of, even though you are in town every day anyway."

THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE TWO PHRASES.

Then she got all bitchy and wouldn't talk the whole way home because I asked if she really needed to go to K-mart. At least I got free gas out of the whole thing...

Me: Do you really have to go to K-mart? I thought you had to go somewhere this afternoon.
Granny: FINE. DON'T GO TO K-MART. JUST GO HOME THEN.
Me: Wow, okay.

She also gets mad when I misinterpret her directions. She is AWFUL at giving directions. She didn't even know where we were trying to go at one point yesterday, then got mad because I took a wrong turn.

One of the 1253642 errands we had to run involved buying Granny some summer clothes and stuff. But it made me wonder one thing: Why do fashion designers hate old ladies? I mean, I wouldn't expect a 65-year-old to raid her teenage granddaughter's closet, but there are almost no decent-looking options for them... It's like society decided, "OH, HAHA, YOU'RE OLD AND WRINKLY NOW, SO YOU HAVE TO WEAR SHAPELESS CLOTHES IN BORING COLORS!" Why? That also leads to people like my French teacher who buy clothes designed for much smaller women less than half their age so they don't have to dress super frumpy. When I'm in my 60s, I don't want to dress like Granny does, but I also don't want to be like my French teacher. Why aren't older ladies allowed to dress nice too? My mom feels the same way. At 42, she's not old yet, but she has noticed that some women her age are starting to "dress old" and doesn't understand why. I don't understand either. There are even some women my mom's age who are still hot. (SUPER shocked to learn that Gwen Stefani is in her early 40s, by the way. I thought she was like 30...)

I only know of one person over 50 who somehow manages to defy "dressing old": My English teacher. She is in her mid 50s, and I don't know where she shops, but she has this one purple dress that I totally want to borrow.

I felt so attractive when I left home this morning. Now I'm just sweaty and gross from the 85°F sun. I didn't see any hot girls, so at least they didn't see me all gross, but they also didn't see me this morning when I was looking attractive. :(

Brat Sister was especially bratty tonight. She, my dad, his girlfriend, and I went out for burgers, and she DEMANDED dessert. Then, she yelled and screamed because I asked her not to scoot so close to me in the car. Sorry, but the only person I want that close to me is FCG. I just DON'T like most people touching me. I'll occasionally hug my friends and a select few family members (and Brat Sister is not on this list), but that's it. I only touch someone on a regular basis if they happen to be a girl I like.

My mom griped about this a few days ago because I don't really like hugging her either. Well, maybe if she wasn't such an insufferable bitch 80% of the time, I wouldn't pull away every time she touches me. And I don't want my sister touching me at all because she's a sweaty, gross, germy 8-year-old. (Brat Sister says I "don't get to make the rules about touching." Uhh, actually, everyone in the world should be allowed to say who does and who doesn't get to touch them. That is a basic human right.) If I pull away when Brat Sister touches me, she just starts beating on me instead, and my mom never stops her. In fact, sometimes she tells me that I have to tolerate this. Umm, by that logic, then I should be allowed to, say, stick my hands down Old Crush's shirt, or maybe push FCG up against the wall and kiss her all over with no regard for either of their feelings.

I don't know, it just bothers me. I am allowed to do whatever I want 98% of the time, but I can't tell someone to stop touching me. What the hell? How does that make sense on any planet?

Anyway, spring break is almost over... I hate school so much, but I'm actually excited for Monday because I get to see FCG and get the paper I need for my driving test! I say that on the first day I get to take my car to school, I ditch history to go get FCG, and then we sneak away into my car and DRIVE AWAY FROM THAT AWFUL HELLHOLE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. I guess we could've technically already done that, though, using her car... But that could possibly require her actually coming out of the closet, so it's better if I do it since I'm not a Narnian.

She better let me touch her hair on Monday! I miss that girl so freakin' bad. I am currently plotting how I will get her phone number, but nothing I can come up with seems plausible.

Hey, you guys remember my movie plot with the Technicolor Kittens, right? Well... I got bored:

Also, I really like this unrelated and slighly NSFW picture. Just sayin'.