IG has been trying to get this guy to ask her out for about a month now. FCG and I wonder why she can't just ask him herself, but it apparently doesn't work that way and we are weird for suggesting it. Hey now, not nice! How were we supposed to know? Hahahaha! (Is it really, like, against the rules of heterosexual dating for a girl to ask a guy out? But what about super shy dudes? Is that where 40-year-old virgins come from?)
FCG seemed sad today, but she said she wasn't. Hmm... Poor freakazoid. Seeing her sad kind of made me sad too. She seemed better when I waved to her after school, though, which made me feel better. I don't want my freakazoid to be sad. :(
I feel like I'm not good enough for her. I just don't feel like I can compare to the other 19284576 girls who seem obsessed with her. I wish I knew exactly what she thought of me. I'm also scared that she might secretly see me as a little kid, even though I'm not even a full two years younger than her. She's only older than me by a year and a half. My closest cousin is the same age as her, and he doesn't see me as a little kid, but he's my cousin, not a girl I like, so he doesn't really count, and I don't even know why I just typed about him. I'm really just feeling all insecure lately.
Mrs. History Teacher made me feel a lot worse today, actually. She went into a rant that didn't even make any sense. Apparently, if you don't learn the same way she does, you're bad and stupid and gross, but we're all automatically bad and stupid and gross anyway just because we're 16. Umm... Okay. I just didn't like the way she said it, like we're all criminals or something. Then, in the middle of her rant, she changed direction and said that we are all way smarter than she was when she was a teenager, but we're still bad and stupid and gross because some of us don't learn well from her notes, and we're 16.
It actually made me rage really hard. I don't want someone like that crazy bitch talking down to me because of something as stupid as the fact that I'm 16. To be perfectly honest, that woman shouldn't even get to talk down to a brain-damaged chimpanzee, let alone a class of AP students. She is truly awful. She's racist, she's a hypocrite, she couldn't teach her way out of a paper bag... The list goes on and on. Her rant didn't make me want to get more notes or do better in her class, either, which I think may have been its purpose at some point. It just made me feel insulted and inadequate because I am 16 and therefore bad and stupid and gross and somehow also a criminal who cannot function in society. That's what IG and I both got out of her rant, anyway.
I wonder if Mrs. History Teacher was also a bad and stupid and gross criminal who couldn't function in society when she was in high school. That would explain a lot, you know! Of course, she'd probably say that she was the exception.