I feel like this is really silly but I need to vent it anyway.
I feel like I'm unattractive. I have brown skin, I'm short, I'm very hairy (everywhere except my feet really. My hair stops at my ankles. Go figure.) I have curly hair and a big Jewish nose and I'm not really muscular or thin or anything. I'm not fat either. Just kind of bloby and weak.
I never see anyone that looks like me. Nobody takes photos of people that look like me, nobody draws them. And I most certainly don't know anyone that looks like me (besides my sister, but she's not as hairy (not even as hairy as I was at her age/before T) and she's taller and her nose is nicer and her hair is thicker and she got the better genes.). I don't know why I'm letting this bother me all of the sudden but it is.
And not only that but my body hair has been called "gross" an awful lot even after coming out as male, I'm pretty much conditioned to hate it.
Haha, I don't know why this suddenly bothers me after 18 years of not really giving a shit (well, minus the hair, I've had more issues with hair than I'd like to count), but it does. I don't feel like I'm good looking or even pleasant to look at. Just awkward. Everything about me is awkward, like if people were made up of parts and traits, I'd be made up of the random stuff left over at the end of the day.
Yeah. I'm such a hypocrite I know. As an artist, I think bodies are beautiful. I love the human figure in all of it's diverse manifestations... All of them except for mine. >_>
Sorry for getting all stupid and pathetic like this. I'm not really sure what brought it on. I guess being bombarded with pictures of people that I don't even remotely look like and being told that's what's attractive is just getting to me. It's not any one person or source, just kind of a combination of everything.
Okay done now. :I I actually feel better after ranting about that. I'm gonna go draw.