i know skill is important to have, especially in this life. for example, i if wanted to be a musician i would have to lead a meager life under constant debt because i can't read musical notation to save my life. how does it apply? well, to be held in high regard you must absolutely prove that you have mastered and dominated a necessary part of being a musician.
i fall short there and must go into the world of computer networking and programming, which now that i think about it isn't that bad. afterall with computer jobs, they are always in demand, and i'm pretty much going to college on that. i'm not saying that the computer job isn't bad, heck i might even make a career out it. but i would just love to be a real musician, one who could read musical notation, collaborate with other musicians, share ideas and thoughts about music, talk about music history.
sadly that will never happen, i had to take Band I in middle school if that would ever happen. now that i take Music Theory, i thought i would learn, but i've only managed to feel even more bad about my slight learning disability (as you might have noticed already). so i'm pretty much failing Music Theory. i'm no amateur yet i'm no begginer. i know when i'm out of tune, i know proper technique for guitar, i can read tablature but that's poisonous for me (even though it gave me the ability to play historic music).
i don't really have a problem with identity, i can be the programmer / musician. but what i have a problem with is being labled by my slight disposition. i don't want to have ever admitted this but i think i'm good with guitar, i'm no expert, but i can feel emotion through music, i can feel so many things through it, i can sometimes communicate better when playing my guitar than speaking. i know there are dozens of people like my with same thing, want to be something, yet they are limited and are thus dispensible. i am dispensible though, my talent is actually slim, but there are others so much more talented.