I don't know what to do with myself. Although I'm pretty excited. I need to work out some of this excitement but I'm not allowed to go out because no-one is home to "supervise" me. (Overprotective parents. Don't you just love them?)
I'm excited because I finally got a job. Yay! Its full time every Saturday which is awesome 'cos I can keep it even when the holidays end, which is sometime in February.
I'm still a bit depressed though, because I recently lost my iPod which was my life. Man, I miss that thing. Also, I really don't want to be alone anymore. It's like everywhere I go, there are couples. I could be in a room full of people and never feel so alone as I do there. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it. That I don't deserve happiness. I know its stupid but when you're in a Catholic environment ALL the time, no matter how much I try not to think about it, subconsciously I can't help but wonder if I'm going to hell.
Christmas is coming up...and New Year....which means.....dances and parties where I am constantly reminded that I don't have someone special to spend these days with. I feel so selfish even having these thoughts but I can't help it. They're just there. In my head. And they won't go away.
Well at least I have driving lessons once a week. Something to take my mind off things. Nothing more relaxing than driving for an hour on a lonely road. I love it.
I gotta start cleaning up my room. Spring cleaning! YAY! :(