A few racing thoughts, recorded

12 December, 2010 - 5:28am — centerfielder08

Feeling very depressed.

And I want to be a guy.

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Centerfielder08's journal

Comments

12 December, 2010 - 5:54am — loreonpravus

Hm. Right now, I want to be

Hm. Right now, I want to be a certain guy. I want to be the guy that the girl I like is in love with- tall, handsome, muscular... male...

But otherwise I think I'm okay the way I am.

Sometimes I think if I were taller, my trans feelings would be a lot stronger. But I feel like I'd rather be an average woman than a short man (5'5"), even though I definitely identify most of my mannerisms and behaviours as male. I don't know where that comes from. It's strange.

12 December, 2010 - 6:05am — centerfielder08

No, that makes sense. I'm

No, that makes sense. I'm 5'2" (5'3" on a lucky day.haha). :/

I want to be a man.

I want to buy a binderrrr

12 December, 2010 - 6:15am — loreonpravus

Then get one! I'm kinda big

Then get one!

I'm kinda big (36C- huh, throwing around a lot of measurements here) but if I wear a tight sports bra and a baggy-ish jacket, I would say I'm a pretty good guy, albeit a beardless one.

The other thing that bothers me is my hips. I've got a pretty hourglassish shape, and it's only because I work out that my shoulders look balanced with the rest of me. Would that I were more inverted triangular.

12 December, 2010 - 6:21am — centerfielder08

Ah. yeah. so you have more

Ah. yeah. so you have more advantage in height and such.

I'm rather small chested guy, which is good. I'm a 32 A or 34 A.

Is it sad that this is the most interesting interaction i've had all day?

Talk of this makes me feel better...about us being guys. I think of you as a guy.

12 December, 2010 - 8:27am — funnyflyby

Shrug.

I think of everybody on the planet as a gajindiak automatically. Wow.woW