I feel so sick. I need to stop going out so much. Definitely made the right choice staying in tonight.

I feel physically and emotionally sick. I haven't eaten well for the whole week. I ate only like one meal per day. I don't remember where my Sunday and Thursday went. Same with today. Stop drinking. Stop it. Argh. I have bloody exams next week.

I did ecstasy last Saturday. It was so fun. But I didn't sleep until 3pm Sunday. I probably won't do it again until a big event. It really fucks with sleep and eating. I need to stop drinking so much and experimenting with drugs. I took party pills last night too. And I finished all the creatine, and not on working out but for clubbing. Jesus, I feel so sick everything I ate today I just want to throw up.

Am I emotionally sick? I don't actually know. My life should be great. I've got friends money action good grades most things people want. But life feels so fucking pointless these days. I went to town last night and flirted with people and it was fun but it was such an empty feeling. People bought me drinks, even gave me money and I even scored a $60 tshirt off someone and a leather jacket. I didn't steal them, they actually gave it to me. And what the fuck some fucking guy gave me the biggest FUCKING hickey on my neck. It's disgusting. I fucking want to knock his head in and stab him in the face. He even gave me one on my back and it's really sore. I don't want to be fucking reminded of his existence every time I see the mirror or turn my back. Sure, it was fun but I feel so angry about it for some reason.

I decided I will hate everyone I get with. It's fun at the time but for some reason I hate thinking about it afterwards. They just make me so fucking angry. I don't text any of them back. Nothing wrong with them. I just fucking hate them. And if I have any hope for anything I will quash it. Just fuck off.