asexuality
So I'm about as close as it gets to being asexual without actually being asexual.
I ended up getting in a discussion about whether there's a difference between sexual and romantic love and it's starting to tick me off so now I'm coming here to vent. :P
There are people trying to say that there is no difference, and that romantic love is just platonic love and sexual attraction put together.
Which is stupid.
I'd venture to say about 90% of the feelings I've had for people (that is, the romantic ones) were asexual... And this person is trying to tell me that the only feelings of those that were different from platonic feelings are the 10% that weren't?
That's bullshit.
I guess I shouldn't be getting so pissed off by this, because it's only the internet after all... But I've had it up to here *points at celling* with people invalidating my feelings. :/
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Comments
I swear I was JUST reading a
I swear I was JUST reading a discussion of exactly this sort on QA (the other gay youth site I go to).
I was thinking about this myself, because I've found that I usually crush on people I'm already friends with, and the platonic/romantic line is very blurry for me. I think it is there (there's an element of specialness/excitement in my crushes that isn't usually in my friendships), but it's hard for me to tell at times.
Maybe I should go back and post on that topic...
~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~
That's probably the same
That's probably the same discussion as the one I'm talking about. XD;
I do get kind of confused between romantic feelings and platonic ones myself. Like, I used to find myself feeling like I -should- have romantic feelings for someone, and trying to get my platonic feelings to be romantic ones, the result usually ended up feeling somewhere that wasn't really romantic, but crazier than normal platonic feelings, and also very short-lived. Or sometimes I'll take a platonic interest in someone and get it confused. But that doesn't mean that they're the same thing...
I am exactly the same way, I
I am exactly the same way, I think. Damn near asexual, but with romantic attractions distinct from platonic ones. Sometimes I find it a bit crazy, sometimes it seems like the most sane way to be.
Maybe you're asexual then?
Maybe you're asexual then? There are plenty of asexual people who have romantic feelings or relationships. Asexuality is just a lack of sexual attraction. There are people who are aromantic too, but one doesn't necessitate the other.
I think I can feel sexual attraction given the right scenario. I'm not really sure at this point, but I'm not worried about it.
Yeah...
I don't think I can be absolutely asexual, though... Snogging has some appeal to me (though of course only with the right person), sometimes...
~
To my understanding, you have the sexual side and the romantic side, both divided into attraction to any gender.
So you have people who are aromantic but sexual, asexual but romantic, asexual and aromantic, and of course, sexual and romantic.
In my definition/opinion, whenever your desire is to achieve orgasm with a person, it becomes sexual. So kissing / making out is "romantic" while oral sex is "sexual", for example. So, from my point of view, I'd suggest MacAvity is asexual/romantic, as I am quite certain I am.
In regards to your journal... We're currently working on a short story about love in one of my courses and the point that came across from most people was that sex was essential to romantic love... When in my experience sex is what always ruins relationships.
Just a Slight Correction...
...to "sex is what always ruins relationships."
I'd suggest that sex is what can ruin a friendship that should never have been treated as a relationship.
Yeah, I was gonna say that,
Yeah, I was gonna say that, but you beat me to it. I get the idea that asexuality is more about if you aren't able to look at someone and get aroused, or if you don't find yourself fantasizing about certain people in sexual situations, or whatever it is that sexuals do. Fantasizing does nothing for me. I'd rather fantasize about things like my guitar scenario than sexual situations. |D;
I feel like if I were writing a short story about romance, I wouldn't even think to involve sex. I think in an ideal relationship for me, sex would be a 'sometimes' thing. I think I would find it problematic if my partner considered sex to be an essential part of the relationship. I feel like I'd enjoy sex but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. I like kissing but I'd be okay if I never had sex.
I've got a bit of an aversion to physical contact though, so some of it might be because of that.
in my opinion....
the gitaur scene is quite romantic however it's not detailed enough for my taste.
"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez and morticia addams
"look at him! i would kill for him! i would die for him! either way what bliss!"~gomez addams
I'm rather fond of the
I'm rather fond of the simplicity myself. I don't want a specific kind of person... I mean, I do to an extent. But not like, down to what all of their interests are and everything. There's a lot of room for variation there as long as they appreciate art and music... I like a person who can show me things I haven't thought of and answer questions I didn't have. :]
Maybe...
I wouldn't know, since I've never so much as kissed anyone, but I would have thought of kissing, snogging, making out as sexual behaviors (though of course not as sex) because they are done for physical pleasure as well as as an expression of romantic emotion...