So I had this dream... And I was biking around my city, but it was suddenly a lot more wooded and a lot more green than it really is. And there was this path which had all of these gigantic bikes on display and stuff. I wanted to steal one so badly.
But um, there was this river, and there was a dam down the middle so you could cross it, but there was like, a foot of running water over it, I was afraid I'd get swept up by the current and wake up somewhere far away (not even kidding. That's what I said.) But then this old woman was like "you can just walk across" and she did. So I bolted across and then on the other edge was like... Different. I was in the city or something and I slipped and I was holding onto the ledge. And I had this little dragon with me, supposedly for luck.
So anyway this 'luck' dragon became Mushu from Mulan only about 100x larger, not voiced by Eddie Murphy, and he started eating everyone. And Mulan was there too, and we had to get rid of him because things were being destroyed and people were dying. But we had to run away first because he was too powerful. He ended up eating the parents of a couple of kids at some point, so I took them in. They were a burden and I tried not to get attached at first, but, they were kids. The older one was like, 9 or 10, had straight black hair, and listened to instruction (such as "RUN") pretty well. the other was blonde and like, 3.. And.. Didn't. We were going down stairs at some point and she was like "no. UP." and there wasn't any up to the stairs where we were. so I was like "alright. Fine. Up. Just go!" I wound up picking her up and carrying her a lot. We ended up losing Mulan while running down these crazy stairs. It got to the point where I couldn't hear or see giant-evil-Mushu anywhere, but I knew he was still perusing us, so I kept running. We got to this basement... And you know how in some games there are like, these cables you have to slide down? Like Sonic Adventure Battle 2, or Kirby Air Ride... Well, we had to do that. So I grabbed the little girl, and the older one seemed pretty capable, and we slid down into this other basement-type place.
And Mulan was there, and she was doing some crazy move that involved moving incredibly fast and like, 8 different swords. And there was narration and then there was a lot of blood. And I thought she had killed the big evil dragon but she only stalled him for a bit. Oh, and at the end of the move the swords all skewered her... Apparently that's where she keeps them. One of the girls poked her with an extra sword and she was like "hey" and started bleeding though. The other swords just kind of.. Melted into her. Oh, and she also didn't have boobs. She was shirtless but I don't remember seeing boobs... I think in my subconscious universe boobs don't exist.
So anyway there was this garage door in the basement and it lead into this forest, so we ushered the girls in and went in ourselves and ran.. Don't ask me what a forest was doing that far underground...
And then... I'm not really sure what happened. Mulan and I went up to the surface to chat with this goddess and she was like "because of [some weird technical thing] I can't do anything about him." and then he tried to drown us with pudding while we were driving out. And I was thinking "why hasn't he killed us already? He so has had the chance and the power to."
Also... What kind of dragon drowns his victims in pudding? That doesn't even seem like a completely awful way to die. :P
Oh, and he had this crippling fear of fire (even though he BREATHED fire) and I knew that but we never took advantage of it...
And then he sent people in dalmatian suits after Mulan, the girls and I. And they befriended them and I didn't trust them... And then I'm not really sure what happened.
So yeah... Aren't you glad that I come online here and tell you about these things?