...oh, cause it is :P haha, i have returned from the dark hole that i've been sucked into (which i wasn't aware of being sucked into...). since thee last time i was here (probably about 3-5 months ago...), i have gone through a lot of changes -.-

first off, my hair is now blue, haha, which i LOVE :D

also, i've joined my church choir because i was selfish to continue wanting to play my violin. instead, it has made me super stressed out because of my lack of religion and because of the incredibley easy and simple music we play >.> oh, and with the fact that i'm gay, too, so, i have to be shoved back into that stupid closet up until i decide to quit :D which isn't anytime soon -.-

oh, speaking of the gay thing, i am no longer bi. i am now a lesbian :D took a while of thinking and wondering, but it took me a while to realise (and admit) my full gayness because i kinda still wanted to be considered sort of normal. at leaaast half. haha, but it's boring to be normal and like everyone else, i prefer spontaneity :D (i probably spelled that wrong, but eh, it's 3:08am and i don't care right now)

i am now graduated from high school :D well, since june, buuut it's still pretty cool :D ish...i kinda hate it cause i feel older than i ever did D< aaand, although i'm 18, am still treated the same as my 10 year old brother >.> oh, i also start college on the 27th of this month, which is kinda ok, i guess, depending IF FAFSA decides to ACTUALLY for ONCE accept my application so i can pay my stupid tuition and, now, late fees >O

hm, last thing, i think i may be losing my bestest friend ever. mostly my fault, though, cause i have stupid issues with confiding in her or just being open to her about everything goin on about me :/ i dunno, i am more comfortable talking to anyone else but her about my problems...DX but that's not what's kinda making us drift away...she's been hanging out with this other friend and this friend isn't very much of a good influence on her...kinda supporting her and influencing her to drink and do drugs :/ by now, i would've told her to stop that nonsense and think about how it'll affect her later, but i'm afraid of standing up to her (for some odd unfathomable reason) and telling her so. so, now im just kinda there...her last option for everything now, it seems. like hanging out, she asked me if i'd hang out with her because she called everyone else and they were all busy so she wanted to hang with me. i said no, mostly cause i was with another friend, but even if i wasn't, i still would've said no. oi, i dunno what the deal is, haha, im not extremely sad or mad or anything, just mostly dissapointed and really missing her :/

haha, ended up being sad sounding near the end, oh well. until who knows when, bye