I have class all day Tuesdays and Thursdays. I didn't feel like going today. I've been thinking all to much about C (memory refresher: the girl that made me realize I was gay and join this site, my first GF etc). And it's been making me depressed.

Things with C really went to hell and it's my fault. This was all the two years ago and for the past two years I've been ignorant to how aweful that situation was. I had a girlfriend for a year and a half of that. Well, everything moves in circles and the circle's ending with me.

Between that and applying for film school and dealing with school and extra obligations i've just been feeling run down. I had a dream I went crazy. Literally. I'm not that bad but just saying. So today I took the day off.

I worked on my film synopsis for the application and I have it laid out. (Reseaching my past to make this synopsis is what derived these realizations, as mentioned before.) I'll have it sent out by the end of the week.

I know I'm being a littl self pitying but more than anything I want to talk to C. We haven't talked in a while. I don't know how to bring it up if I should bring it up. My mom seems to think I should or that is would be ok to. She might like to hear it. But how? Phone call? In person? A letter? She doesn't return my texts can imagine a call and that's impersonal anyway I feel like. She avoids planning to get lunch so I can't imagine her abiding to meet in person. A letter seems... I don't know. She has a girlfriend and I just feel like something person shouldn't be in writing for another pair of eyes to see.

Any suggestions?