Never try to organize shit over Facebook. Or rather, don't try to make plans with someone you really like but hardly ever uses the computer over Facebook. It's much better to just call her because things that would normally take a few minutes over the phone take like, a week this way. It wouldn't be so bad but, I still don't actually know if she wants to go or not. I mean, I guess she does because she didn't give me an outright "NO." but her only response was "is it [the place I invited her to] in the [name of city that there are at least three of in New England] near [name of mutual friend from art program who happened to have a crush on me]?" Which could be her just trying to figure out the location, but it could be a prelude to "we should bring [mutual friend] along!" Which, I'm hoping it's not, because then I'll have to invite someone else to keep me from feeling awkward... And I kind of wanted to come out to Kite and somehow figure out how far her interest in me goes... Though if she does invite 'mutual friend' along, I'm going to assume it's just platonic.

But I mean, I know she was flirting with me back at the art program... Because uh... She dragged me into a lingerie store. And then told me I was cool for going with her into an underwear store... Well that and she had this tendency to save her most graphic threats and most demeaning insults for me... (It was nice actually. Blackbelt always whined when I picked on him. Kite just retorted. She's very good at that.) That doesn't mean she's still interested though... I mean, she's probably not completely un-interested because people don't usually become completely unattracted to someone without reason. But it's completely possible that she's taken a liking to someone who lives closer/is less likely to die in a freak art easel accident/has cleaner pores/can reach the top shelf/can hold a conversation with her without sounding like a moron who doesn't know what to talk about because he's nervous as fuck. And decided not to bother with me because this other person is better. I'll be pretty impressed if I can actually get a second date. That'd be a record for me.

Oh. And I started a chip-in thing to fund my surgery. It hasn't made a ton of money but it has restored my faith in humanity to some extent... Which is saying something. People I have never spoken to, have been sending me their regards. My friends have been spreading the link around and people have been just saying hopeful stuff and... It's one thing to hear that from people I know and whine at all of the time, but for complete strangers to say such things, let alone send me money. It's incredible. And inspiring.

...I still don't have a job though. I'm about ready to just give up until I'm 18 and can start applying... Everywhere else. :I

Giving up is bad though. So I won't. Haha. Taking a break for a little while to work on my portfolio though. Because this job stuff is giving me anxiety and I need to get into college next year... And do awesome inspirational things and become a teacher so I can change people's lives or some shit like that. I like my portfolio so far... I feel like I don't have enough big pieces... So maybe I'll take my giant sketchbook downtown and just draw stuff sometime. I do have a giant sketchbook. And conte... Which I may or may not have stolen... Conte is the best. :P It's like crayons for grown-up people. I wish I had someone to model for me so I could draw them in conte... I wish I could get Kite to model for me actually. It's a nifty excuse to look at her, a lot.

I want to do that 24 hour comic thing in October... Mostly because I did terrible in my graphic lit class and I kind of want to make up for that. And then I'll be like "BANG. I did learn something from that class after all!" and everyone will be like "WOAH. And I thought you were completely incompetent as a storyteller" and I'll be like "YEAH. WELL I'M OVER THAT NOW."

Though... I'll probably spend most of that 24 hour comic thing pulling my hair out on the verge of tears going "WHY THE HELL DID I THINK I COULD DO THIS!?" but.. I like the sound of the other scenario better.