I'm a little tipsy. A touch. Vodka and Jones sodas. Very tasty mix. Call it a disclaimer, I'm a little more loose in thought in this state than others.

It was my birthday on Thursday. I spent the day at school. Well, my Tuesdays and Thursdays are both full school days, from 9 in the am til about 5 in the pm then back at 7 for life drawing and that ends at about 9:30. It's a full day. But it's all art so I'm not complaining. And actually, since my AA credits are satisfied, my grades don't matter all that much anyway. Not that I'm slacking. Just saying.

My birthday was uneventful, but that's not to say it wasn't nice. I turned 20, first of all. So, no longer in my teen years. That's wierd to think about. But I've been sick up until my birthday and my friends are off to college and 20 is a pretty unrecognized age to turn so there just wasn't much to celebrate, haha. Still, birthdays always make me feel excited and good. I mostly just bought myself things, haha, as pathetic as that sounds. Ties (sale at Target! Holla!), Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List Season 3, a new shirt, The Royal Tennenbaums special edition DVD, the new Arcade Fire CD. I just took the birthday money people gave me and spent the hell out of it. And I still have a wishlist on amazon I'm looking to dig into.

Yeah, I don't know, I've been feeling kinda down lately. I mean, the whole thing with C, I'm single, I was sick, my mom's sick, I'm tired of living in this shithole town... I don't know! I just feel lonely. And I wanted to celebrate my birthday. Not in a big way, I just wanted to have fun, not worry, and I love shopping and all the things I bought and there's no harm in treating myself to something.

That includes some alcohol. I'm not a drinker. I drank in Canada because the legal drinking age is 19 there and I liked it a little. I never got hammered and I barely touched on drunk (no hangovers either!) but I just never though I'd drink and here I am celebrating my 20th birthday with some vodka. My mom didn't even join me tonight. Yeah, that's right, my mom's my drinking buddy. Well, not really. But we're like the Gilmore Girls so you know... we're good friends too. This sounds a lot more sad-sack than it is, I promise.

I want to start writing in my actual journal again. I was so good about it for more than a year and then I got to the point where I was writing more about depressing things than good and I didn't want those to be the memories that I look back on so I just stopped. Not that I'm a lot happier now or anything (I mean I am in some regards) but I think I have a little more to say now. I don't know. I just have a lot to say and I need to stop wanting to post them on my facebook. I mean, really. I don't I just always have the impulse to write, "Oh my gawd cute girl in art talked to me toooddaaaayyyyy." Like really, I'm not 19 anymore, grow up.