somtimes i wonder if i've missed out on being a normal teenager... but oh well. it's not as if you can have a second shot at your teen years. sometimes i wish i lived in 17th century europe. that way i could play the lute and live off my day's earnings and travel all across europe, sort of like John Dowland. it's not glamorous to all, but to me that's the impossible dream. sure there wasn't a place for gays but it would be just the same in a way, i wouldn't be able to be open about it but i could live my dream. i would give everything up just to be free. free from the modern cage i call life.