Jacjessen90's story

jacjessen90's picture

tell me what you think.... i'll add more as i have time....

jac's COST (coming out story told)

chapter 1

It was 180 minutes past the hour at which Satan, Lucifer, and all other denizens of the infernal pit have full sway, on the first day of the second month of the sixteenth year of the second millennium and, our charictor, a troubled, young man, named Jac, born a double devil's dozen years ago is lying awake with the worst seven-word soliloquy ever known to mankind, “why can't I find a date?" after spending a few moments doting on the subject, he gets up and goes to the restroom and spends the next 10 minutes giving his beard the appearance of having gotten Freddy Kruger for a barber, swearing and looking for his bottle of witch hazel, he goes to the closet, and picks out from among the 250 sq. ft. of clothing: a robins' blue oxford shirt, navy slacks, and azul celeste penny loafers. Thus attired he goes to the kitchen and starts to make a pot of 'lavender luxury' tea, as he filled the carafe, his 'psy-dar' gives him a shock as brief as the blast of a .22 on a January morning and as sharp as a newly keened obsidian scalpel. Sending out a mental 'finger' he meets a well-known set of shields, very well known since he crafted them! Laughing he undoes the 9 locks on the door and opens it to reveal a man the very image of kipling's version of Shakespeare’s 'puck'! Right down to ears that look pointed, wearing florescent yellow spandex top and black tights about 1 and a half sizes too small. ”guten morgen, sheiskopf!" he greets JAC, "hallo! Could you turn down the shirt? It may set off the rooster!" jac returns. "Ok, can we call a truce to this little insult tennis kaffeeklatche?" "Sure!" "I’ve been to 'cattle calls' all night, and I tell ya, the only way to make it in this biz is act like a complete schmuck or keep kissin' the producer's..." "Feet!" JAC interrupted, “keep it clean m'lad! And get in here! You look dead..." "And you have never looked more alive!" ".. And I’ve got a feeling that since you've not been to bed yet it won't count as drinking before noon if you try something I’ve just come up with?" "Well, if it does, it's five o'clock somewhere! What am I trying?" “Somethin’ I whipped up when someone asked for a mango margarita but had none of the ingredients!" Noel lifted a Styrofoam cup filled with a substance of icee consistency, orange, and smelling highly of pomegranate, lemon and cherry, and takes a sip. "Mmmmm! cool and fruity, just like me!" "Noel, would you care for ein eppess Essen?" "Sure! Whatcha got?" "Well, I was about to make breakfast so, give me a minute!" "Ok! Ok! Jeeeeezzze! let's have a nice little myocardial infarction, why don't we?" noel said under his breath "I HEARD THAT!!"

chapter 2
later that day, around 2:00pm, at Bell, Book, & Candle, the metaphysical shop where jac works, he was organizing the tourists' ceremonial robes, 'need more purple and chartreuse... these gods-awful things couldn't raise a single micro-joule of power! And yet, those fools buy them! and for $40 a robe for small through large and $10 more for extended sizes there's the rent!" he thought but in the back were the true Robes for those in The Craft, and these are about as ornate as a monk's habit. Jac caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye and looked. There outside the store's front window, was a man so attractive he was in danger of being mistaken for a renaissance angel who managed to escape from the stained glass portal, and with a visage so fair it looked as though he had milk rather than melanin coloring his skin, but for all this jac notices just two things "His eyes! O my Gods! Eyes that just grab you by the throat and won't let go! And so wise-looking as though he'd been through decades, no, seen centuries pass, and learned from them! Without becoming cruel or bitter! And his hair...! Hair just long enough and silky-looking enough to make your fingers itch to run themselves through it!" and Jac, being a romance writer in his off-hours, let himself a brief daydream of doing just that. Then he shook himself and thought "oh well, back to business!" he walks over to the door and said "hi, I’m Jac, could I help you with anything?"
the gentleman replies in a faint accent that it took jac all of a moment to register as French, “hello, Jac, I am Andre LeBrel, and if you could recommend someone who would not mind sitting and chatting with a person new to this town, then you would be very helpful indeed!" "I believe I could recommend someone. He gets off work..."jac looks at his watch. “Fifteen minutes ago! shall we?" they walk to the coffee shop down the street and in the next 6 hours go through every topic under the sun, as well as 8 pots of coffee and 3 pounds of baked goods between them. When jac looks at his watch he thought it had stopped, and when he looked out the window his heart almost did! Night had fallen and they were still talking "Andre, are you aware that we've been talking for 6 hours?" "Sacre merde! Really? Well, I am sorry to have kept you, but thank you for a glorious first day in town and I hope you do not think me too forward but could I see you again?" "Ok, two things: 1) why would you think that forward? And 2) I'd love to! Meet me at the store tomorrow?" "Mais oui! Around 1400?" "I shall see you then."

Chapter 3
At precisely 9:45, Noel was walking up to the shop, and noticed the display in the window. Coming into the shop, Noel gave a whistle that would have been the envy of every rancher ever born, "what in the Gods' names was that?" shouted jac from the backroom "let me guess, Noel?" "Right! Now get out here! I have something for you!" jac came out muttering under his breath, "einen sheiskopf froinden...What?!"he snapped, "Do you remember Dr. Ward?" jac's temper cooled faster that a cup of molten steel thrown into a vat of liquid nitrogen, at the mention of his favorite teacher. "Yes, why?" "because he left a present for you with the doorman" "how do you know it's from him, for me?, it has no card" "one, we were his two favorite students, you taking gold and I silver, two, look at the hand writing, and three, I have mine!" "Oh wait it does have a card!" "Well read it!" "Dear Jac, I hope you remember me as well as I remember you, of course, I could never forget my favorite student, and just to show my appreciation for you attending my class, here are some trinkets to remind you of my classroom and a few other things i thought might be needed in the future; first, a pointer from my classroom,if you'll look closely you'll see it has been hand crafted from yew to remind you that knowledge, although a strength may be poisonous, next; some candles, to remind you to that the path of knowledge although walked by many needs illumination, third; a silver teapot to remind you that 'knowledge is worth far more than silver or gold' fourth; some salt to remind you to preserve the relationships you have, for they are there but an instant before they are gone. Fifth; a bit of incense to help 'send all your troubles up in smoke', and last, a dressing gown; because you deserve it and "all work and no play makes Jac a dull boy"!. Hope all is well and may you all Blessed Be, John Everett Ward, PhD, MD, BD, etc, etc, etc." "Noel, please tell me you didn't..." "Jac! For the Gods' sake! Only two people know I'M a Wiccan, so what makes you think that I’d throw you out of the broom closet!?!?" "I wasn't accusing you, I just wonder how he picked the cardinal colors of Wicca for the candles, gave me a stick of one of the most magical of all woods that is in essence a wand because look, it wasn't cut, it was broken, a silver teapot that is over 200 years old and yet never been used, and thus meets the definition of 'virgin silver', salt, which is used in almost every spell, incense of the kind only used by the Followers, and a Robe! Not to mention he closed the letter with a Pagan sign-off! And we both know full well he was Jewish!" "Just Dr. Ward I guess...." "Yeah..."

chapter 4
at 2 pm, Andre saunters into the shop and calls "mon chere, commet vous?" "i'm back here! let's go!" they stroll back to the coffee house,"one of the bottomless caraffes and a deluxe sampler please...oh, hey annabelle!" cries jac. "i forgot you worked here!" "hey Jac, i'll be with ya in just a sec, Yo, jimmy! i'm off! k... let's go back here, we just had a reservation cancel...come on..." they go back to a party room and sit down, "this is andre, andre, this is annabelle st. clare..." "a pleasure...may the flames of your soul always match the hair on your head, may the pools of your eyes never be disturbed by storm and may the fates cross our paths again...." "pleased to meet you..." "jac...where is le toilette missures?" andre wispered in his ear" "third door on the right..." "merci" he leaves "so, who's the hottie?" askes annabelle, "first he's a newbie to town and b) your not so bad your self....flaming hair, eyes as blue as two pools of water, a body like a living barbie... you're perfect!" "jac, you've got a tongue that could fertilize 40 acres....i love it.....but what about him?... if you discribe a mere mortal like me that kindly, how about an angel like him" "how about you discribe him..." just then andre walks back in saying "you have the most beautiful decor here..." "on second thought.... never mind...." "andre are you all right? you look kind of flushed?" "yes i'm fine, help me to a chair..." "andre! andre? " "he's fainted....help me to the table..." jac lifts him to the table and undoes the top button on his sweater, then runs his hand through the hair to brush it out of his eyes. He feels a prick near his wrist and then everything goes black as he pulls the cut back, he knew no more becouse he was feeling the most severe carnal pleasure in his entire life it blocked out everything, until....he came to, with a bandage on his wrist and annibelle sleeping in the next booth, a cup of tea forgotten on the table beside her, "ohhh, what happened??" he moaned, "NON, no talking right now, you've had a severe shock and fainted, and i tell you now as friend and medical doctor that if you so much as Try to speak, i'll be forced to sedate you...Annibelle, annibelle! wake up dear, you go on home, i'll stay with Jac..." "ok, if you're sure, night guys...." when she had left andre turned and said "i know you have a lot of questions so please, ask! i just wanted to answer one on one..." "ok first, los vampyre?" "oui, that is why i fainted, lack of blood, you fainted becouse i over did it on 'the Keeper'" "the Keeper? oh, what i felt? it's to make sure that your donor doesn't get away before you get what you need, huh?" "yes, it is the coin with which we buy our meals the only thing that makes the feeding humane...if you can call it that..." "well, could you tone it down next time, it's a little hard on the donor..."

Comments

Just Dave's picture

Ehm...

I usually make an effort not to be a grammar nazi, but you really should look at the grammar of this. It makes a really good story really hard to read.

jacjessen90's picture

exactly where did i go wrong

exactly where did i go wrong in grammer? i see no mistakes....just askin'...

"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez addams