well im back, this is my first journal in awhile. let me catch u all up to speed. im borderline depressed. or somewut bi-polar. one day im home alone sad and mopey the next im out w/ my friends and happy as can be. i guess im learning a lot a/b my self this summer. ive learned tht im weak, im not as strong as i thought i was. i havent been able to come out to anyone even though im trying but when ever im a/b to im discouraged by somehting a friend says or does. :( i want to come out to Hayden, but i dont know how. btw my cousin Meg's aunt is dating his dad. which is weird and i found out tht one of my close grade school friends is his cousin. werid but it makes him feel safe in my mind. im getting a tatoo of a sun on my back, i kinda designed it so im happy a/b it. now all i need to do is save a/b 175$ to get it done in 2 weeks which is also when i get my mole removed. ive always hated the mole on my face even tho its not tht visible to me anymore. im thinking of becoming a PR agent for atheletes if i like the field in which id work. and ive decided to take a few well deserved vacations. one w/ the fam in the dominican republic. one w/ friends in orlando florida. a drive to toronto to meet up w/ some friends for a couple days and a drive to ottawa. all of which i plan for this year. nice huh? lol. im hoping by the end of first semester this year tht i'll be able to find myself in all my mixed emotions. btw just reread the book Charlie St.Cloud. wihich i read like a year ago when it was called the life and death of charlie st.cloud. and i fell in love w/ it again. if the movie is as good as the book or half as good then i recomemnd u all to see it. but of course read the book FIRST! lol

love you all!