I drove to my sister's just before noon today, but it was early because I stayed up till laaaate or early really, cause I'm on spring break.
Anyway we moved furniture and stuff and waited forever for the delivery guys to bring the new furniture, and then we all promptly collapsed for around 2 hours on the couch. :) I was really really tired.
Lately I keep thinking about the future, and my busy life at the moment. Of course I'm hardly not thinking about it in some way, I think about everything all the time, but right now it's more about worry and possibility.
I think that friends and helping people are what really matter the most to me right now. I don't care about school, I mean I do, and I'll keep doing hw and getting straight A's like I'm supposed to, but graduation's approaching and I'm more worried about what happens after. I'm just tired of obligations and being so busy trying to please everybody.
I think I'm finally coming into a good place in my life, not great, but good. The friends stuff seems to be working out a little better in some ways, but not in others. And I think that I'll be able to find a place for my desire to get out and help others, at least I hope so. I'm trying to explore all my options and I'm hoping that possibilities start forming.
I'm just to damn empathetic for my own good, I think. And I try too hard sometimes, to do what I'm supposed to do, what's expected, what other people want. I think that some of that will finally stop after graduation, but some of it probably won't stop. I want change in my life, change would be good for me, but it's hard when change is surrounded by resistance.
I just have no idea what's going to happen, about so many things, which is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I just have to hope, right? Isn't hope what saves us? What keeps us going?