T and I have felt a little less than connected lately. I've been off for the past few days, and she's been nice and bared with it, but I feel like we're having trouble really getting in sync with eachother.
Well, for one, our sex life is going down the tube. I never thought the term "lesbian bed death" would apply to my relationships. Frequency is about once every couple weeks. We're really trying to work on it, and really seems to be on me. Her sex drive is a billion times more than mine, but even so, mine seems pretty low...
Sometimes her advances are a little abrupt and forward or ill timed (like an hour before I have to go to work not the best time to have sex). So I've told her about that and so we'll see. We talked about it yesterday and I kind of went to pieces spilling about how it started to be no fun liking girls I can't have and then T came to me, fished for me, and is there, available, and so why can't I see what's in front of me? I cried, she comforted, we talked, it was fine.
I mean, I don't know. It's not like I'm not attracted to her, but what if there's something missing in how we're connecting on a non sexual level that is affecting how I feel about her in bed. I just can't pinpoint what except that I had a stupid crush on a girl I don't even know (which, btw, I think I'm able to forget about now). But this issue started before then. It's been going on for a few months now.
I feel bad. I'm not sure how to resolve this problem.
After work I picked her yellow roses from my back yard (her favorite) and for the most part we had a nice evening. I want to show her I appreciate her and I want to make sure I'm not taking advantage of a good thing.