Sorry, language. I know.

I'm going to cut them off myself if someone else doesn't do it for me soon I swear. I really can't deal with this anymore, I haven't BEEN able to deal with this. My dad had a job interview the other day, they turned him down. Like, you know, everyone else. Fun stuff. I wouldn't care so much because we've been getting by, but I NEED this surgery and without this surgery it's not really like "getting by" anymore. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. I can't stand it.

I want to scream and cry and yell and I just can't do anything and I can't look in the mirror or down at myself or hug people or enjoy the warm weather and I'm sick of it and it makes me sick and I can't deal with this.

...