Debating was okay. There were three rounds. I got through to the second. Not surprisingly, the qualified teams were all the executives. And I lied, it was three minutes prep (extreme impromptu) and six minute speeches (not five minutes prep). The first topic was about lifting the ban on international whaling - my team was affirming. The second was about reinstating the youth minimum wage - again affirming. It was pretty intense. And yes everyone was hard core high level law students besides like six of us.

And I'm in love. I haven't felt like this is so long. Not even with that-guy-I-like. All of us first years who didn't get through decided to mope and chat at a nearby cafe. And there was this guy - let's call him S. I debated against him last week and he was that guy who said I did really well. He has dark hair, smiles a lot, broad shoulders, skinny jeans, nice skin and the most adorable face ever. I swear he's gay but he's not. He's just very metro. But then he started advocating for gay rights (started off with "Hey 1 in 10 people are gay eh"). But that's what we do - we're liberal debaters - we talk about things like that - so it's not supposed to even be weird. He's just very open-minded. I know three other people during high school who are also straight-metro guys, and that always annoyed me. But I'm in love with S. He's the perfect guy. We bonded so well, his family is like my family (similar drama), he talks like me, he thinks like me, he also loves grey's anatomy (!!!). He also has a pretty similar outlook on relationships. Except he's a little shy, little insecure - which actually just makes him more adorable. He's like perfect. I've never met anyone this perfect in my life. Like EVER. Like I don't think there's anyone else I'd want besides him. Except he's straight. And I can't have him. And for once in a long time, I feel my heart's a broken. He invited me to his next house party. He said I can stay over if it's too far away (he lives in North Auckland, I live in South Auckland).

L is amazing. L is that girl who I mentioned a few entries ago who was one of my best friends, who I got in touch with again at university. She always knows the right things to say to make me feel better. JS wasn't very helpful today though. I went to see him at work after debating - a little upset because I found the love of my life and couldn't have him - and he totally didn't see how serious I was. Of course, we always joke around - so he was only joking around. But then he was shocked because I said I might love this guy - even though I just met S (he said "omg when did this happen"). JS was also shocked because I never really say who I like (I tend to wait for others to like me first), let alone say I love someone and fall head over heels for them. But then he kept joking about it so I just grabbed my stuff and walked off. He texted me later apologising... I think he realised how much I like this guy. I think I realised how much I like this guy too. I'm really scared.

I have one assignment and three tests to study for. That's why I'm at home on a Saturday. I haven't done anything crazy for two weeks. But there's a rave tonight, there's my friend's drinks tonight, my other friends are also clubbing. I didn't even go to my mate's 18th last night when he hired out this entire bar. Usually I wouldn't be able to avoid the temptation, but I have been exercising restraint lately. Good on me.

I'm in love. I can't believe it.