with a passion. it annoys me so much DX it is REAALLLY REALLY BORING. either it just shows some random lines or colors OR it is just a blank canvas (or colored) with a random little mark/smudge/stain on it >.< even just a brush stroke and BOOM it's art D: (minimal art...)

ok, just had to get that out :P

well, today was pretty stressing (except for one amazing thing that made me forgeeeet :P a little...).

so, my project fell apart when i picked it up (took me all night to get it done >.<), so now i have to fix it and turn it in tomorrow. i tried to print off my art project, too, but it was in a file that the computer couldnt read, so i had to convert it and that took a while. then when i started to print, the printer randomly stopped printing and then i cancelled it and decided to give up on it. then i realized i converted the wrong file and wasted about 10 peices of paper >.> then i almost got to school late because of that. then after school, i stayed afterwards to practice for a performance i have on friday and saturday, that went ok until i messed up on a song and kinda almost knocked over a lot of people -_- then, afterwards, my sister and dad got into an arguement on whether or not he was going to pick her up after her concert. he kept bitching about how stubborn we all were and that we waste a lot of time and that we should get off our lazy ass's and learn to drive (well, he is thee MOST stubborn person in the world, he is a procrastinator, too, and the driving thing, it's different for each of us. my mom cant, her eye sight is bad, my sister, i dunno, and me, well, i refuse to learn. i dont like the idea of cars, i prefer walking or riding bus's or bikes. he should shut up and stop being so hypocritical.). with his constant complaining and bitchyness, he succeeded in making my mom cry (in front of my 9 year old brother -_- honestly, i would yell at him to shut the fuck up and stop bitching to everyone about how imperfect we are and to set a better example to my brother, but, if i did, he'd disown me. and he wonders why i dont listen to him).

BUT, what made it better was when i went to the library. well, i wanted to test out my laptop's wifi and it was great, got a good connection and started setting things up :D then, while waiting for things to download, i noticed this reaaaally cute girl working at the starbucks in front of where i was sitting. omg, she was so pretty, i couldnt stop looking over to where she was :P well, she noticed i was staring at her and she smiled and i got embarrassed and turned red (and went EEP inside :P). haha, it was amazing, i plan on going back tomorrow to see if she'd be there again ^_^

-sigh- i was talking to a friend of mine and told her about it. she told me to go and flirt with her or something but i was too chicken (especially after she noticed me staring...), so i just sat there and stared at her when she wasnt looking, being a creeper -_- haha, oh well, she was prettyyyyyy :D but, eh, while talking to her, it kinda became a little sad :/ i dont have any friends near me (locally, within distance to be able to go and see/talk to) that would understand and help me a bit more with this girl thing, and she is the only one i can really talk to, but she lives 4 hours away, over the mountains :/ i get lonely and overly depressed. i have my bestest friend, JJ, but, well, eh, when i told her about it, she didnt seem interested or seemed to care, all she said was nice. i think she's still a little homophobic...but i wish she would listen and try to help me, even just a little, like how i help her when she has a problem (even if i cant help, im still there, comforting her and trying to find a way i can help). it's starting to add to my stress and depressive state -_- i just want someone to talk to and relate to when it comes to my liking girls (or things similar to that :/) that is close enough, not over the mountains. although i love that friend of mine and talk to her when i can, i wish she wasnt waaay over there and was here instead, that way i wouldnt feel as lonely or that much of a "weirdo" than i already am :/ haha, now i sound a bit selfish.... meh, oh well. until later, toodles