"Are you happy?" I tend to ask myself this in the back of my mind a lot. Often when I'm running late to class, scampering across the campus, or when I can't seem to sleep at night. Sometimes when I zone out in class, while sitting with people I don't like or don't care to... At other times I ask when I'm laughing, hanging with friends, or talking about silly things like the Portal ARG or others.
I am happy. For the greater part and I feel quite fortunate to feel this way. Sometimes I don't but, usually, within a day I pick up and smile again.
Housing lotto was a big waste of time... my dear friend, and room mate, will thankfully still be my room mate next year, and even with her quirks and silliness, we have fun together and she's a friend I get to see on a daily basis, which is awesome. It's hard to believe just a few months ago I didn't think she liked me. It's cool that we came into this dorm two complete strangers, and ended up being close friends. She's been there for me when shit has gone bad with my ex, and when I get stressed about failing my color class. She'll find things when I'm at class that are hilarious and when I come home we make epic lulz faces. It should be awesome living with her again next year, in a different dorm, and maybe not the one I wanted, but at the very least it is with who I wanted, and that is what matters. :)
As for the love side of life, I lack it entirely. I feel that no one has interest in me, on top of that I am too busy and too close to going home at this point to ask a girl I like to go out with me. Unlike the other girl I was crushing on a few weeks ago, this girl isn't straight. My only issue is that she probably likes someone else and I barely know her, more then anything she is a friend of a friend... I'm not too worried however. As much as I would whole heartedly like to have someone to love and snuggle with, I am fully tired of falling for women like my last 2 exs have been. People who are self obsessed, who easily forget my existence, and ultimately don't listen, care or truely love me at all like I did them.
I can't wait to go home, as much as I dread this year ending. This has been honestly one of the best years of my life, romance aside. I have had the most amazingly fun time at school, and I have learned so much. I cannot wait for next year, but I want to feel the spring of Pennsylvania again, rather then Florida's summer heat. I miss my home state, as much as I consider this city to be my home now and for the next 3 years.