I should be preparing a presentation for college, it's due tomorrow, but I've been trying to write it up for hours to no avail. It's one of those wishy washy things that I am sure they just throw into the course to fill a module because they couldn't think of anything else to put in its place.
Anyways, where was I with life and my journalising? Myself, Michelle, the breakup! I am actually not sure exactly what has changed in the last week or so, but I feel like the split has finally sunk in with me. I feel single again, but I also feel ok about it. My friend Susan said that when you start to wonder about what your next girlfriend will be like, you know that you are into the next stage of moving on. I think I am there now.
I used to think you had to be one hundred per cent happy by yourself before you got into a relationship. That you shouldn't rely on someone else to make you happy. But I think I have changed my opinion on this. Humans as a specious aren't built to be alone, to go through life by themselves. Generally people find themselves a partner someone to relate to for life. Ultimately it's what nearly everybody really wants. So while it's not a great idea to go into a relationship if you are an emotional wreck, ultimately I don't think you have reached your full potential for fullfilment and happiness until you have found yourself a partner.
Thinking about this, got me thinking about my relationship with Michelle. As much as we cared about each other, we just weren't right for each other. Something between us just did not click right into place. Sometimes I think maybe it was her lingering feelings for her ex, but then I also think well if we were right for each other nothing would have got in our way.