Scary and unexpected bout of internalized homophobia
I just all of a sudden thought my attraction to boys was weird. (parts of me speaking)
Gestapo me: "Hold on just a second there, my furry fine friend. Did I just catch you staring at that BOY?"
Me: "I swear I wasn't. Honest. I just really liked his shirt, and wondered about where I might buy it someday."
Gestapo me: "Nothing doing, pal. You're gay."
Me: "Fine..."
Gestapo me: "So. You like boys. Not girls."
Me: "WOAH. I DO. Oh gawd. All the other guys are talking about their girl crushes, and I just can't stop staring at this boy... Ew."
Gestapo me: "In the old days of your families, it'd be the labor camps for you. (My grandparents on my mom's side fought for Germany, WW2) Lucky you're growing up in this cushy MODERN society, where it's OKAY to violate the natural law. You know what? You DISGUST me."
Me: "Gawd. I AM disgusting..."
It just seemed weird to me. I actually was thinking about this. I actually got disgusted by my own gayness...
Would I be a major homophobe if I wasn't gay?
Or, is it my own gayness that MAKES me homophobic?
Just looking at me from an outside perspective, I don't think I LOOK like a homophobe...
But then, what does a homophobe look like?
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Comments
*points at anybody who is
*points at anybody who is mean to you about the gayness* That's what a homophobe looks like. Normal.
You look pleasantly Chad to me, not any particular stereotype except, well, MALE, but that's it. If you think you look like a homophobe, then, well, you will always think that. But you're not.
So you don't look like one.
I'm confusing :/
-
There isn't a sharp line dividing humans from the rest of the animal kingdom. It's a very wuzzie line...and it's getting wuzzier all the time. - Jane Goodall.
wellll
i think that being constantley sexposed to hatred and ppl thinking were icky and such really is a downer on the young soul. it dosnt take much to have a young person down on themselves for stupid things. sometimes i have the 'ewww, i cant belive i want to suck that guy off. im so sick :/' moments. its just moments. it happens. dont dwell on it dear.
if your ever super sad, just rember, you could have been a blowjob.
If it's just "moments"...
...OK.
Regrettably, it often happens that that is as long as it takes :-(
I do that all the time!
I do that all the time! It'll just randomly hit me and I'll be like "that's so weird!" I don't feel like I'm violating any natural laws or that I'm going against anything, but then it hits me that I am. Who would've thought when I was little I was going to be gay?