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opinions please?

the ghost's picture
1 February, 2010 - 2:12am — the ghost

Ok so I have been chatting to my ex the last few days a lot, and I know she still has feelings for me. Now I know she still needs her space and stuff, but also wants to hang out with me.

But here is the thing, I got her a ring for xmas and she has been wearing it since, even though we broke up. However she lost it the other night on the night out we all went on. She always takes her ring off and puts it in her pocket to wash her hands.

Here is my question: It is her birthday this week and I am meeting her on friday. I was thinking to buy a replacement ring. Not to put pressure on her or anything for anything. But it feels like the nice and the right thing to do. She has been upset about losing the ring and wanted to buy a replacement herself.

Will I buy it or not? My gut is telling me to do it.

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1 February, 2010 - 2:15am — fox333
fox333's picture

I would do it. Though that

I would do it. Though that generally means its a bad idea.

A man is educated and turned out to work. But a woman is educated and turned out to grass.
Pearl S. Buck

1 February, 2010 - 2:18am — 5thstory
5thstory's picture

I'd go ahead and do it- just

I'd go ahead and do it- just explain her that since you knew she really liked the ring and you couldn't think of anything else (white lie) you bought her another one.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

1 February, 2010 - 2:32am — Just Dave
Just Dave's picture

Well, you asked...

I would not buy another ring unless you are still interested in getting back together with her. It just seems like something that could be easily misinterpreted by her as a romantic gesture.

It's good that you still talk. But if you are not interested, I'd lay low for a bit.

1 February, 2010 - 3:08am — Riku
Riku's picture

Seconding this. I don't

Seconding this.

I don't think it's a good idea to get her a ring to replace the one you gave her while in a relationship unless you're interested. Especially if she still likes you, I can't see much good coming from that honestly.

1 February, 2010 - 4:05am — the ghost
the ghost's picture

I am still absolutly head

I am still absolutly head over heels in love with her. I would be her girlfriend in a heartbeat. I am honestly just worried that she would be worried that I was pushing her for more than she is ready for right now. Which I am not. I can wait and give things time if thats what she needs. I just want her to know I still care for her deeply.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

1 February, 2010 - 4:32am — Just Dave
Just Dave's picture

In that case...

By buying the ring, it would seem like you are stating that you are still interested, and getting your feelings out in the open would probably help you. yet at the same time, it would make it her decision to make.

Personally, I would still let things sit. It seems like she might be a little conflicted, and getting the ring could worsen that. I would just let her figure her own emotions out and move from there. Maybe get her a different present, something less emotionally charged.

Of course, it's up to you. Good Luck.

1 February, 2010 - 4:24am — Splash
Splash's picture

idea...

Could you get her a gift card for the store that sells the rings? Your intention would probably be pretty obvious, but I don't think it would have quite as much symbolic weight as actually buying her another ring.

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

1 February, 2010 - 4:36am — the ghost
the ghost's picture

Thanks guys, you have all

Thanks guys, you have all made some really good suggestions and given me things to think about. I am fairly good friends with her housemate and he probably knows her better than most people. I might run the idea by him that I was thinking of getting the ring and see what his thoughts are on it.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

1 February, 2010 - 4:36am — fox333
fox333's picture

Yeah, nothing says, baby i

Yeah, nothing says, baby i am head over heels for you like a gift card :P

A man is educated and turned out to work. But a woman is educated and turned out to grass.
Pearl S. Buck

1 February, 2010 - 4:44am — the ghost
the ghost's picture

fox333 made me lol with that

fox333 made me lol with that comment

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

1 February, 2010 - 4:51am — fox333
fox333's picture

:D A man is educated and

:D

A man is educated and turned out to work. But a woman is educated and turned out to grass.
Pearl S. Buck