i hate this placeee.
get me out.
... i think i have a fever.

my dad's a hypocritical asshole. not getting into it. cuz it's fucking stupid.
and he reduced me to tears..which somehow led me to feel like i have a fever.
i just don't understand him.
one minute, he's this caring, considerate person... and the next he's screaming at you because you've said something wrong.
and then i try to leave the room because he's not making sense, and he screams SIDDOWN and PUT ON SOMETHING YOU WANT TO WATCH
and then i tell him no, that i'm leaving because i don't want to watch TV so he screams louder GET BACK IN HERE AND WATCH TV WITH ME NOW.
and i run upstairs, lock my door, and hide in my closet.
and now he's walking back and forth across the living room, fuming. pouting. i can hear him walking.
he'll be cranky the rest of the night. he'll take out his anger on everyone cuz i fucked up somehow.
i hate his temper.
i hate my mouth.
i don't know why i say what i do. and i don't know why he gets so emotional about everything.
they're just words. and they weren't even bad ones.
i was repeating what i heard on tv.
and fuck. he's said worse to me. about me, even. muttered them under his breath. he talks about people he's never met before like he wants to strangle them with his bare hands.
and anyone who doesn't agree with him? fucking bigot retards.
...

i feel better now.
five minutes ago i was sitting in the closet, wondering if i needed the razor that i promised Alice i'd thrown out...
T's going to kill meeee.