Aye. I was there at one point, but I never really thought of meself as straigt, just playing a part. But I also thought that was how everyone in the world was.

Life is hard, but immortality is harder... Jasper Eversor Force

"Memories are nice, but thats all they are, you know?" - Rikku-FFX

"No matter how dark the night, morning always comes, and our journey begins anew." - Lulu-FFX

This insipired me to write a whole journal on this.

http://www.oasisjournals.com/2010/02/my-story-of-becoming-bisexual
EDIT:
oh yeah, I forgot to ask, how'd your dad take it?
-
There isn't a sharp line dividing humans from the rest of the animal kingdom. It's a very wuzzie line...and it's getting wuzzier all the time. - Jane Goodall.

Well, I understand what Elph is trying to say, but I don't entirely agree with the aphorism that you must accept yourself before others will accept you. I believe that is largely true about love; but acceptance...not so much. Some will accept you regardless. Some will not accept you at all. Accepting yourself is about the realization that there is nothing wrong, or embarrassing, or dirty or sinful about being gay, bi trans, whatev. Self-acceptance in regards to others, is mostly about two things:

The first is your reaction to those who are either just ignorant (in the non-derogatory sense) or those who say things like "I love you even though what you're doing is wrong". When you have learned to accept that being gay makes you no better or worse a person as being straight, and that "what you're doing" (which really means "who you love"), is as good and right and beautiful (or sometimes bad and naughty if you want, but still beautiful) as the love that straight people enjoy. If you have the confidence to believe, regardless of the opinions and beliefs of others, even others very close to you, that there is nothing wrong with you, and no reason for you to feel shame, it provides you with the perfect opportunity to be a good ambassador, to make yourself approachable so that people who may have always been taught that gays are one thing or another can ask questions, get to know you, and realize that you are fundamentally no different from them, not interested in converting them, not out to recruit their children, not part of a vast gay conspiracy to do...whatever those people all think we're trying to do.

When you have that confidence to present yourself this way, without being insecure and defensive, you gain the opportunity to demystify gays (lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, whatever you may identify as). Often you will be the only openly gay person that other people have met, particularly if you are in a more rural setting, and many times you'll find people are curious, even eager to learn the truth and shed the old beliefs they've been raised with. Others won't go that far, but will realize that one does not need to approve in order to accept. People who simply cannot reconcile your life with their beliefs will nevertheless see you as a a good, decent and caring person. They will be less likely then to support discrimination against you, will be even more appalled at violence and hate leveled against you, and (in my experience) can often wind up being very close friends).

The second thing is how you react to people who are hostile to you or shun you, or perhaps worst of all, those who claim to love you, but will not accept you "that way". This is where the true test of self acceptance comes in, because these people will seek to exploit all of your doubts and fears. They will try to convince you that what you are "doing" (because it is all about the sex to them) is wrong, shameful, sinful, etc. Particularly if you have close friends or family members doing this to you, it can be very difficult to build and maintain that belief that this is not a problem you have, but a problem they have. If you are doubting yourself, then all those words, either hostile or disguised as love, will chip away at your opinion of yourself, and make you hate who you are. It's at times like these that it's important to have a support system (like, oh, say OASIS) to come to in order to remind you that you are a good and wonderful person, that love is beautiful regardless of the lovers' genders, and that SAFE (SAFE SAFE SAFE) sex with the right person, whether it be gay or straight, is beautiful, intimate, fun, naughty, raunchy, steamy, tender, intense, kinky...the list goes on and on, but it's the same list regardless of the what body parts you have or what body parts turn you on.

There are many things about oneself that one has to explore over the course of one's life. There are failings to recognize and change, bad and even traumatic experiences to work through and heal from, philosophies and beliefs to explore and question and try on. Sexuality is no different. It needs to be explored & questioned, and once it feels right...accepted and embraced. It can be fluid. It can be fixed. But loving who you're meant to love is never wrong, and provided it's consensual and free from coercion, where, when, how, how often and with whom you have sex is not for anyone else to judge. Your sexual identity is like that one coat in the closet that fits you just right. You might have to try on one or two, or you may grab hold of it right away, but once you put it on and it feels right, wear it proudly, and don't let anyone else tell you it's wrong for you.

//end Pat Speech

I love you all very much.

*HUGS*

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- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"