This morning...

swimmerguy's picture

This morning, I was riding the bus like always.

And, like always, we always stopped at the stops and then people with huge bags under their eyes are slowly stumbling towards the doors, and I'm thinking about how much they look like something out of Night of the Living Dead.

And then, something weird happened.

The bus picked up all the people at the stop, and started moving again. But, a girl had left behind whom was now pursuing the bus.
Someone yelled to stop, and so it did.
She walked up to the door, and while it opened she gave a meek smile.

And for some reason, while she was giving that smile I just noticed how incredibly beautiful she was. Not many things could compare to the beauty that was in that smile.
Now, this of course pissed me off, because if I wasn't gay that would be major lame-age, as that's what I've come out as, and I love being gay.

However, I came to the conclusion of No, still gay. Because beauty is not necessarily attraction, and while I might kiss this girl, I would not want to do any thing further, which does not apply to the boys.
Also, my first guy crush was in 3rd grade, long before I knew anything about sexuality (still attracted to him) and I have not had a true girl-crush to speak of.

P.S. I have decided that should I have not much interesting to say in a journal and I cannot think of a good title, I shall just name it "Title".

Comments

patnelsonchilds's picture

You don't need to apologize

You don't need to apologize or turn in your homo card for finding a girl attractive. I still do now and again even after 26 years out of the closet, countless boy notches on my belt & still no girl notches. But hey, never say never, right? Er...ok...never. But that's me.

You're right - beauty is beauty.

Hugs,
Pat

_________________________________

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"