
Has it really been four years? Four years since I met Julia, and four years since I googled "Am I gay?" (Yes, I actually did that.) I look back at my freshman self and am astonished. Almost unrecognizable, she stares at me with wide, innocent eyes, totally unaware of the months of doubts, revelations, laughs, tears, and, all in all, the most exhilarating times of her life so far.
I remember stumbling upon Oasis before it looked the way it does now, and I remember bumbling around, too afraid to join but too dependent to leave. I know that I rarely (if ever) write here, but I always check in.
In September of 2006, my school had us write a letter to our future selves, which they will put in the post when we graduate. I don't remember exactly what I said, but the thought of that letter has stayed with me. I know that I will open that envelope and burst into tears - an outpouring of emotion.
Tonight, I am going on what may be a tentative date with a girl that I am mad about. The blue moon, movies at her house, driving... who knows what could happen? From ice skating with Alex to this?
Six more months until I leave my home, and less than that until I found out where I will be next year. The thought of college scares me. Outwardly, I say that I want to go as far away as possible, but I'm sure that I'll be the girl who writes home every few days.
There are so many things I want to do in my life... I can't wait to see what the future holds.
Comments
shoot, I know I'm in a
shoot, I know I'm in a weird mood when I almost cry reading this. I guess it's just because I'm thinking the same thing you are, and it is scary, but it's so good! Four years went by fast, huh. It's crazy.
god...
i googled 'how do you know if your gay'
experince the awe and mystery that reaches from the deepest inner mind to the outer limits!