So my ex girlfriend wants to meet up tomorrow. Two weeks ago when we were breaking up, it seemed like a good idea to me. I was happy with that little guarantee that we would still be seeing each other at a set time and day, even if it was two whole weeks. It was something to cling to, something to hold on to to keep me going.

I've been studying for exams since. I threw myself right into that. Haven't had a whole lot of spare minutes. I have been talking to her online quite a bit since the break up. The first week was the most difficult to make myself stay away. Nearly every night or second night we would end up on msn chatting. I felt a little bit as though it was one sided, since it was me starting most of the conversations, but she was also always eager to chat.

This week was easier to stay away though. She went home for a few days, and a lack of a decent internet connection forced me into cold turkey. Then she text me. A friendly text wishing me good luck. It was nice and made me smile. It was also a reminder I had gone two days with no talking to her, and had had no temptation to really. Then she sent me another text the next day again wishing me luck. Then she started an msn conversation last night, but I was studying and couldn't stop for a chat, so I told her this. She was fine about it and checked we were still on for meeting tomorrow,Friday.

I say yes we were. But I'm not sure I want to...thinking about it now. It feels too soon, like this week I was making myself take some distance, and it's going to be all ruined if I meet her. Part of me wants to meet her to find out what happened when she went and chatted to her ex before me, the cause of our breakup.