An overly dramatic and only partially serious tribute
I lost my rainbow piano wristband yesterday, and it was like losing a friend.
I found it about the time when I was just starting to get comfortable with myself, and starting to come out. I thought about how weird it was that someone had managed to drop this wristband in the middle of the hall, especially because no one in the group ahead of me noticed it.
I was still uncomfortable with myself, yet I put it on anyway, like it was my duty.
I loved it for the most part. Except when I had my gayness self hate meltdown a month or two ago. I was in the fetal position, then I noticed the wristband, and I thrust it away.
It flew away and hit the wall and landed on my desk. I was mad that it had landed on the central hub of my room.
But I later forgave it. And then I loved it, because it made me feel great. It helped me in manners large and small, and it made a great statement, but what I liked most of all was that it taught me PRIDE. I became proud that I was gay.
Then, yesterday, someone stole someone else's goggles, and they ran through the locker room, and knocked my swim bag from it's perch on the bench. My stuff spilled all over, and my wristband managed to find its way under the bench, and it was hidden from my site. I left without checking to see I had it.
But I do not mourn it. I got it for free, and lost it for free. Months of support gained, nothing lost.
I sometimes fantasize it was magical.
It came into my possesion when I needed it most, and then it left when I no longer needed it's support. And now, maybe some other gay guy has it, and it is now supporting him the way it supported me. And when he no longer needs it, it shall leave him too, traveling all over the world over many years, helping gay people just starting to cope with their sexuality.
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Comments
. . . did you think maybe
. . . did you think maybe that the janitor threw it away BECAUSE it was on the floor?
"And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays." -William Shakespear, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 3, Scene 1
I think...
the janitors after school clean up right after school, and this was well after 7 when this happened.
Also, there's a lost and found RIGHT THERE, like literally 10 feet away, and I think they'd put a perfectly good wristband in there.
No. Someone took it. I know it.
"I bust mine so I can kick yours" ~ design on a swimming t-shirt
Well...
... either that or the janitor is seriously rethinking his sexuality right now.
But seriously, I kinda like this story. It reminds me of this thing my friend does. She writes "You are beautiful" and other cheesy little notes on slips of paper, and then leaves them in places where she thinks people who need them will find them, like between the pages of a book. It's cheesy, and I tease her for it, but there really is no potential for harm, and a lot for good.
And I know from experience that sometimes the little things do make some difference. So this blog makes me wonder...
I TOLD YOU IT TOTALLY WAS
I TOLD YOU IT TOTALLY WAS MAGICAL
ok so I didn't DIRECTLY. But I did bring up the whole "you found it, understood your gayness, and now you lost it cuz you don't need it"
I THINK
your wristband was made of awesome. I shall miss it so much.
-
Sometimes I like to sit at night and stare at the lamppost because it's the brightest thing in my life...
You could always buy a new one...
http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/rainbow-piano-wristband
Says it's at Hot Topic. Hmm. I know what to get you from the mall next time I go!!!!! :D
-
Sometimes I like to sit at night and stare at the lamppost because it's the brightest thing in my life...
Magic, The Universe and Ants
In a sense. I think that the collective consciousness of people (and every other thing in the universe) form streams of chi that run and criss-cross in all directions. These are what drive our karma. As a secular humanist/Buddhist, this is my vision of the power that drives "creation", or as I prefer to call it "existence". It is not, I believe, one or more intelligent beings, like a king or a parliament. More like a colony of ants - each having their own tiny bit of information and capacity to understand, but not comprehending the structure of the colony as a whole. Combined with all the other contributions from all the other ants, they manage to run a huge and immensely complex little universe - one that you would swear was intelligently designed and governed...and yet it's not.
Your sweet story reminds me of this because I believe that, though we cannot control much of what happens to us, we are often somehow and mysteriously given what we need when we need it. Sometimes it's a new friend that comes along at the right time. Sometimes it's an opportunity that seems almost too perfectly timed to be random. And sometimes maybe, it is a bracelet, leaving the possession of someone who no longer needs it, so that it can be in the right place, at the right time, for one who now does. Maybe it was made to leave you for that same reason, and is now on the wrist of someone who really really needed it just at that moment.
"Magic" is really only something which exceeds our ability to explain it. The universe is so vast, and we are only ants within it. With all there is out there that is as yet beyond our comprehension, how can there NOT be magic in our lives?
Hugs,
Pat
_________________________________
- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.chroniclesoffirma.com
That was very beautiful...
and made sense too.
You've given me a lot to think about.
Thank you for that.
"I bust mine so I can kick yours" ~ design on a swimming t-shirt
Anytime, Sweetheart
That's why I am here. :-)
_________________________________
- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
Magic and A Witch's POV
Magic is what existance is both within and without our living shells. when we have need of something, the energy inside us calls to the lifestream(the energy outside) and brings us what would be most beneficial to us. when we leave our shells, we go to the lifestream and become a part of it. By becomeing one with the lifestream, in our next incarnation, we will be stronger and wiser.
"And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays." -William Shakespear, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 3, Scene 1