How do you deal with being so fruious and angry with people. I think the rage about the situation my ex and her ex , who I shall call fc for the purpose of this journal, has well and truly kicked in for me.
I went out last night, for the first time since we broke up. I felt really anxious about it because I was afraid I would see my ex or fc. I am not scared of fc, but she fills me with such anger that I want to kick her head in. I had been fairly lenient in my feelings for my ex and reasonable until last night, when I was talking to my other friend about it all. He was out the night that fc started talking to my ex and said they were standing fairly close, but he doesn't think they kissed. My ex told me they didn't, and I still believe her.
However I have started to feel absolute rage and anger towards her, and as horrid as it is I want to hurt and embarass her just as much as she has done to me. I had been nice and amicable towards her. Now I just want to scream and tell her that I think she is a fucking cunt, and she is selfish and never once considered my feelings in all this.
I am so angry and just don't know how to deal with this rage. I took a long walk today to try and walk some of it out, and while it did help I still feel like I want to tell her I hate her.
Comments
Ok listen. I know where
Ok listen. I know where you're coming from. The first thing you do is find something simple to get your mind off of it. Take a walk AWAY from the problem, take deep breaths, and notice how beautiful the outside is. Also, if you're just getting angry by yourself, try writing or drawing out things to get anger out, or listen to music and sing along with it. Don't hurt yourself or other people, and just learn to channel your anger into something worthwhile.
It's a hard practice, but you'll get it eventually. I have faith.
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Sometimes I like to sit at night and stare at the lamppost because it's the brightest thing in my life...