Just had our last final ever high school function. Graduation dinner was awesome. I got a high school graduation certificate with honours, the best there is to get, and possibly the most outstanding testimonial written by my teachers. Not only am I described as a "young man of the highest calibre", I'm also "highly spoken of", "an excellent public speaker", "talented musician", "humorous", "a popular student with amazing interpersonal skills with his peers and teachers", "conscientious, engaging and inquiring", "exhibits leadership and teamwork with great ethic and service"... and more. It's pretty much a perfect testimonial. All that I have done has not been in vain. It makes me happy.
And yesterday a gay student from the year below thanked me for making our high school a much more accepting place. I'm the first student to come out at this Christian jock-dominated high school four years ago, and I actually think I changed the school for the better. Obviously when I first came out I got a lot of shit, but after a few years everyone in the year came to love me, even the teachers, and even the people who used to give me shit. I suppose part of being elected as a prefect by my peers this year is testament to that. I thought I've made the school a much more open-minded place through my visibility and personality, and having other gay kids say that to me really makes it all worthwhile. I told him it'd be good if he can continue the legacy.
And, finally the year's all over. Graduation dinner was emotional. I didn't cry, I don't cry. But it was emotional. Many pictures, many memories. Then many of us headed into town and went clubbing. I feel so loved by my peers. I'm such a hugging slut. I'll miss everyone so much.
And I think I'm in love. B hugged me so many times. He's so cute. He said he loved me and I'm the most down to earth guy ever. I am loved. But I wish he loved me in a different way. I'm like seriously friends with everyone, but I hope sometimes they can be more than just friends. He's the one that went to a gay club with me last time. He said he wants to go with me again. I'm so in love with him. We also did some shots together. He told me how to do a tequilla short. "You lick the salt, do the shot then suck the lemon." The way he said it was just so cute. I love him.
Nah I don't, I don't love anyone. And I know nothing will happen between us. Next time we go to a gay bar together I'll find someone amazing because I'm good enough. And no, I won't be staring at him or thinking about him or be all smitten about him. Oh god.
Haaa and it's 5 in the morning. I should really go to bed. Night everyone!