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A frank look at Jack and the Beanstalk

swimmerguy's picture
1 December, 2009 - 6:15am — swimmerguy

Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terror to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges, already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But, he got away with it, and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge to what he had done. Which proves that you can be a hero for just about anything, because no one asks inconvenient questions."

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1 December, 2009 - 6:41am — Uncertain
Uncertain's picture

Jack that bastard

Jack that bastard

1 December, 2009 - 7:03am — jeff
jeff's picture

Hmm...

I think on this site you might want to put a comma after Jack.

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"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

1 December, 2009 - 6:59am — jeff
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Well...

Next you'll be dissecting that eco-terrorist Johnny Appleseed.

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"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

1 December, 2009 - 7:42am — swimmerguy
swimmerguy's picture

Yes sir!

I ahall tear him apart sir!

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

1 December, 2009 - 7:23am — dangthien94
dangthien94's picture

Hmm

I'm confused. >.> And you changed your avatar. Another hand-band/bracelet. Nice

1 December, 2009 - 7:37am — swimmerguy
swimmerguy's picture

Yes I did...

I did change it, and I tried to change it again, but it hasn't changed yet. I'm getting tired of looking at my hand.

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

1 December, 2009 - 7:42am — jeff
jeff's picture

heh...

Well, until you get a boyfriend, it's all you got...

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"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

1 December, 2009 - 1:46pm — elph
elph's picture

I've Checked...

...open eyes are not required!

1 December, 2009 - 1:55pm — elph
elph's picture

Curious Minds Want...

Oh yes, now I remember

Swimmerguy: I saw that your tale ended with a closed quote. I searched for its companion, but it wasn't there...

Let me add the missing beginning: "And then...

2 December, 2009 - 12:47am — Nanook
Nanook's picture

Perhaps you should read the

Perhaps you should read the politically correct versions of fairy tales if you find the old ones to be so offensive =p