Not sure why you have to come out to her to break up with her... if she'd freak out if you date another guy, not sure how this would change things. She already dated a gay guy before he came out, no?

Of course, on some level, how anyone you no longer date will handle your future decisions is not something you can spend too much time worrying about. That's her journey, really.

Just seems like you can break up without saying you're gay, just that you're think of her as more of a good friend and don't really have romantic feelings or something. That will all make a lot more sense later.

Swimmerguy told his girlfriend that was the reason, and she told all his friends, and he's concerned about it getting back to his parents now, so not sure if that's the best example to highlight (although, of course, if the worst rumor about you is actually the truth, it does save you a lot of time in the long run, heh).

I think double-dipping with big news is always a bad idea. If you tell a male friend you're gay AND in love with him, that tends to be bad. If you break up with a girl AND tell her it's because you like guys, also bad. I think big news needs to be metered out. Break up with her and come out to her don't need to happen a minute apart.

I still think the amount of high school girls who get coherent breakup reasons has to be low, mainly because of guys not being honest. Usually it's because they want to sleep with other girls, or date someone else, etc., but I still doubt they hear any of that.

As for your family, again, starting to live a truthful life doesn't mean omission can't be a big part of it. You can not date girls AND not come out, and pursue guys AND not tell them, and the best part is... the more they're freaked out by the thought of you being gay, the more delusional they can be convincing themselves you're not gay. So, it all works out.

As for your teammates, depends. Many high school athletes have come out and it's gone fine. Others, not as much. But if you add all this stuff up, it doesn't sound like you want to come out, but that you're preparing for being outed.

Easiest way to not be outed? Not telling anyone.

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"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

Ya. I told my girlfriend I'm gay, and it was REALLY hard. But... I got over it. She did tell the others on the swim team, but now they're really cool about it, and everything is pretty much exactly the same. Except that they know. And now I'm much more comfortable about myself, and I think I'll just tell my parents myself :D
Believe me, I know EVERYTHING you just described. The original spate is hard, but don't waver there. If she tells others, just don't care about them. Be comfortable about yourself, and don't worry what the others think. If your friends hear, if they're real friends they won't care. I know from my SWIM TEAM. We all wear little tight shorts and get wet and THEY DON"T CARE.
It is all hard, but even if you feel that your life sucks, don't make my mistakes. There are good things in your life, things to be grateful for, NO MATTER WHAT. Let those float your boat and keep you from sinking.
PM me.

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

Two of my comments just dissapeared, along with a long one from Jeff, and who knows what else.

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

Welcome to oasis :D I don't really have any advice I just thought you could use some *HUGS*

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde