I wrote a journal yesterday.. and I decided to delete it. It wasn't that important it really, it didn't make much sense at all. But I'm keeping the title even though it's a Jewel song and I don't want to admit that sometimes she has good songs..

Anyway, I went out last night with a friend of mine. But I sort of feel bad that I lied to my parents about it. I told them I was hanging out with a different friend because they've never met him before and didn't want them to get weird. He picked me up and we got a movie, went back to his house to watch it. You know, just kind of chill... except that it is widely (and I mean widely ) known that not only do I think he's gorgeous, but I have like actual feelings for him too. It wasn't like I didn't know what was going to happen, but I kept thinking I'm the only reason you passed Algebra, without that you wouldn't have graduated and then of course then I thought why didn't you ever want me to help you with homework at home! I would have been a good tutor.

We get through most of the movie, and seeing as I haven't slept in my own bed, at my house in the longest time (because school is starting soon) I really needed to stretch out. Plus, it's been forever since someone has helped me stretch (which is my favorite) so I asked him to help me. Which he did. He then proceeded to get a hard on. Because let's just say, I'm pretty flexible.

So... a few things happened. But I will say that I hadn't ever given head and now I know that I'm definitely bisexual because last night was a lot of fun. Okay, so I'm friends with him and he's going to join the military shortly and I'm not sure when he's leaving because he doesn't either. He doesn't want anything serious. And because I know him well, I don't care about not being in a relationship, and he doesn't get that. He thinks that I'm going to be like a whiny girl and call him all the time (which is so not going to happen, he called when he was on his way to pick me up, and I hyperventilated after I got off the phone.. the conversation was 26 seconds... *shakes head* I was REALLY nervous about seeing him.) I think he's just worried that I'll be like the other girls. But I'm not. I mean, no shit I have emotions, and christ, it's going to be hard for me when he leaves. He'll be gone for FOUR years. Only letters and phone calls. But I'm not like dating him so I doubt I even get that.

I might have to see my extremely homophobic cousin today. I can't even stand to be in the same room with her for very long. So that'll be fun. I didn't ask if she was with my aunt and uncle. I wish she would just go and live in France, that way I would never have to see her. But that only means one bad day out of the week because my week has been... kind of amazing. Despite being a senior buddy at my high school (went to a baseball game that same day though), so it's all good.

I also start school tomorrow. It's really sad. My summer only has hours left in it. Who else is a senior this year?